John and Pauline

JOHN KERRY IS THE BETTER OPTION (Not than Pauline but than GW Bush). I’m just going to keep reminding you this on a continuous basis so that you remember to register to vote, and then vote this November. Try to register where you live, because - correct me if I’m wrong here - but absentee ballots only count if there is a tie. And yes, if you can’t make it back from where you live to vote - like Israel let’s say, at least send in the absentee ballot.

My next course of action is to make up a number of shirts that say Vote Kerry and wear them tight, right on my tits, just to make sure this issue gets more notice. I am so afraid that nobody is going to vote because they think everybody else will vote, when we saw last election how every vote counted, even if the man with the most votes wasn’t elected president. I mean, at least they counted every vote - right?

HO Ho ho…

Pick up this month’s issue of Jane Magazine - the one with actress Drew Barrymore, not porn star Dru Berrymore, on the cover - the one where she’s wearing a shirt about voting. Yes, it’s the same issue that on page 101 has a story about a friend of mine - it’s the “It Happened to Me” column and it’s titled “My Boyfriend Used to Be My Girlfriend.” I know Nick well. This piece is cheesed down for reasons that are easy to explain, like it’s Jane Magazine people! But read the piece anyway.

I did love Jane Pratt when she started Sassy Magazine, the best magazine out there for a girl my age at the time I was a girl my age. Jane doesn’t have the same bite, but it’s not a bad magazine at all. You actually might enjoy a couple of articles in their, but skip over the one about the six types of unconventional men to date - which includes the homeless and the amish. Seriously unfunny shit.

And one more thing. This is some sex toy advice, so if you are a family member - and you don’t want or need, for that matter, to know these minute details about me- DON’T read any further.

I have newfound appreciation for dual action vibes. If you want to know more, just ask me, but I think for all those ladies (and men) who have been using other vibes and experimenting with battery operated toys for a while now - you must try this next. I am converted. It depends what you like, but take my word for it - dual action vibes ARE very damn good..but you have to get one where the shaft twists or rotates, because the rotation and vibration are both really important. I promise, these things are magical.

Well..I, uhm, have…yeah, some, uh… other things to do..yeah, other things, right now…so, uh, bye…yeah, gotta be going, like, right NOW…