The cat could have won the Olympics high jump today. That’s how high I think she jumped when she heard it. Maybe if she hadn’t chosen to jump over my sleeping corpse, I could have slept through the blast.
She let out a cat yelp as she flew.
I doubt I would have slept through it anyway. It was pretty damn loud.
Thunder is one of my least favorite things. The Crash. The Boom. The Crackle. As if the world is breaking apart in one unfortunate place, and everything is being sucked into the earth as the ground splits in two. Then you hear car alarms, and ambulance sirens, and fire trucks. Thunder always creates ruckus, but it’s usually followed by a really cool light show.
I used to think God was angry every time I heard thunder. That he or she or it or none of the above, was angry at one particular person in a certain area of town, and that thunder and lightning were brought there that day because God was no joke.
It rained the day my grandmother died. I thought God was crying.
It rained the day I was supposed to go to Safety Town - a total Long Island Place where they let you drive a fake car. You’re about 9 years old so it’s very exciting, only they don’t let you play in Safety Town when it rains. I thought God knew I had done something bad, maybe God knew that I cheated on my math test or made fun of Claudine or Lisa or one of the other girls who had the unfortunate luck of being born with cooties, and now God was punishing me.
I don’t think about God much anymore. Even when it rains. But then again, I’ve stopped questioning a lot of things I don’t understand. Like thunder at 8AM on a Saturday morning. The first day I can sleep ’til as late as I can (or at least ‘til noon) without a care in the world.
I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to write. Yesterday I obligatorily shuffled myself over to my parent’s temple for a little over an hour. It was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. I sat looking out at the rows of faces, the same ones I have seen year after year, except last year when I didn’t make it to their house of worship, and these people were all doing the things that I too had thought I wanted until the age of 14. They were getting married, having babies, and buying homes on Long Island.
When I played house, I was always the daddy.
Sitting in between my mother and father towards the back of the synagogue is where I had my epiphany. Well, not really, an epiphany, more like a revelation.
I was a stranger.
In the most familiar place I could remember, I felt like I didn’t belong anymore. Did I look like some alien lady from a far away mental hospital?
I realized that they all had what I didn’t want. I wasn’t jealous, I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t sad. I was relieved. Sure, I could get married have the .05 kids and buy a house somewhere, but it wouldn’t be here. I had left my heart somewhere far away from the 495 way before this. Somewhere back in 1989, when my parents let me travel to Israel for a summer. While I cried my eyes out about wanting to be home, it wasn’t home that I missed.
It was my friends and my family. And after my year of strutting around certain parts of the world, I know that no matter where I go, they love me unconditionally.
And now I understand just a little bit more. But thunder at 8AM on a Saturday morning - for that, I’m still waiting on an explanation.
January 15th, 2005 at 4:07 am
directv
direct tv
directv satellite
direct tv satellite
directway
direcway
directway internet
directway satellite
direcway internet
direcway internet
free hbo
free cinemax
free dvd player
satellite radio
http://dish-network.ascmagazine.com.com
January 16th, 2005 at 8:08 am
If you want to rank in the search engines…make sure you stay away from
this Unethical SEO.
If you value your site, your ranking and your sanity…stay far away. An opinion
from someone burned by his horrid nature.
February 8th, 2005 at 8:11 pm
flirt kontakt by
http://www.kontakte.friko.pl/flirt-kontakt.html http://www.sexkontakte.home.ro/sexkontakte-mit-foto.html - flirt kontakt by
http://ciberia.ya.com/storiespics13/sexkontakte-in-dresden.html - flirt kontakt by
http://www.sexkontakte.home.ro/kontakte-single.html - flirt kontakt by
http://www.sexkontakte.home.ro/seitensprung-treffen.html - flirt kontakt by
http://www.kontakte.friko.pl/sexkontakte-bochum.html - flirt kontakt by
http://ciberia.ya.com/storiespics13/private-erotik-kontakte.html - flirt kontakt by
http://www.sexkontakte.home.ro/seitensprung-stuttgart.html - flirt kontakt by
http://www.kontakte.friko.pl/partnersuche-online-kostenlos.html - flirt kontakt by
http://ciberia.ya.com/storiespics13/kontakte-aachen.html - flirt kontakt by
http://www.sexkontakte.home.ro/sexkontakte-anzeigen.html - flirt kontakt by
April 4th, 2005 at 11:41 pm
You can also check some helpful info about money money http://indian-casinos.4hs8.com/ betting betting http://online-keno.win-in-poker.com/ dealer dealer http://www.top-wins-2005.com/ betting betting http://texas-holdem-poker-online.win-in-poker.com/ player player http://indian-casino.win-in-poker.com/ lotto lotto http://free-video-poker.top-wins-2005.com/ atlantic city atlantic city http://casino-on-net.e-casino-bonus.com/ cards cards http://casino-gaming.win-in-poker.com/ card card http://casino-game.4hs8.com/ lotto lotto http://play-free-poker.win-in-poker.com/ …
April 26th, 2005 at 4:04 am
Just to be flippant for a moment:Anyone else notice the similarities getween the Bush administration and the Borg?’Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated into the New World Corporate Order!’On a serious ending note, the Bush administration has just declared war on everyone else in space. I’m beginning to wonder if these clowns aren’t rogue Scientologists who took L. Ron Hubbard’s disgusting science-fiction vision of A future and are trying to make it THE future.Softwaredata recoveryVoIPWhat is WiFiInternet TelephonyVoIP ProviderVoIP SoftwareVoIP Services What is VoIPVoIP Phone SystemVoIP DrawbackVoIP ArchitectureVoIP Solutions VoIP ReviewsVoIP TechnologyWiFi CardsWiFi AntenaWiFi IEEE WiFi RangeWiFi WAPWiFi futureWiFi SecurityWiFi Hotspot WiFi BluetoothWiFi Drawbackwhat is data lossdata recoveryraid data recoverydata recovery softwarehard drive data recoverydata recovery servicehard disk data recoverydisk data recovery emergency data recoveryrecovery solutionsComputer Data RecoveryNetwork securityFireWall securityAbout UsNetwork securityContact usSite MapFirewallSecurity TipsFirewallRole of IPHacker TechnologiesVPNRelated Topics Application Layer AttacksIP AddressingIP Spoofing Netwark security scannerNetwork packet sniffersPassword attacksProtecting confidential informationSecurityTrusted Networkbusiness cardsflightsfirewallcar rentalnetwork securitycruisesweddingcorporate giftscheap flightsantivirus softwareBackground ChecksCRMVOIPFree VoIPDefinition of VOIPVoIP ArchitectureVOIP ReviewsAuto Telephone DialersUnlimited Free VOIPCRM software reviewsVOIP TechnologiesVoIP ProviderBPOERPAutomotive SoftwareFree driver downloadsVoIP ArchitectureMedical billing softwareConstruction softwareDatabase managementWeb designing softwarevideo conferencingsecure video conferencingweb vs video conferencingconferencingPOS softwareGamesLindsay LohanLindsay LohanLindsay Lohan BiographyLindsay Lohan GalleryLindsay Lohan RumorsLindsay Lohan NewsLindsay Lohan Top Movie’sLindsay Lohan GlamorLindsay Lohan Life StyleLindsay Lohan Parent Trap Lindsay Lohan’s DVDBackground ChecksBackground Checks Education VerificationEmployment VerificationBackground ChecksAsset SearchBankruptcy RecordsBusiness BackgroundContractor ScreeningDrivers LicenseScuba DivingScuba DivingRescueScuba Diving EquipmentHot spotsRecreational divingCommercial divingScientific diving Diving suitsScuba Diving LessonsStaying fit for divingService ProvidersHealth Check-up for diving Places for Scuba Divingbackground checksdata recoverywifiscuba divingnetwork securitylindsay lohanvoipconferencingsoftware