There’s nothing quite like setting up your desk and having everything fall into place. Your neighbors downstairs might actually hate you, because things are literally “falling” into place, and 1AM isn’t the best time to move your air mattress, but when the spirit moves you, it moves you. It doesn’t matter what time it is. Which is how it happened last night, after 10pm, when I arrived at my apartment. My first night there, really present, by myself, figuring out how to make the best of a small space. It’s nice to live alone. Even if the wireless connections around my apartment are all WEP or protected, and now I’m sitting at a coffee shop that I’d rather not give my business to, paying $9.99 for 24 hours of unlimited service. I have to have the Internet. Now I wonder, when did this addiction start? How did I, or we, ever live without computers?

I lived without computers for years, even though, at a very young age, my father took me with him to a class where we built our own computer. I was definitely the youngest one there. I loved helping him build his computer. We kept it for years. Now, I can’t imagine not having my compact laptop with me everywhere I go. And having a wireless card has become my favorite thing in the world. Even with the greatest computer invention since the Internet (wireless Internet is what I’m talking about), yesterday was one of the first days I couldn’t get online since I’ve been back in New York. I felt trapped, suffocated, out of touch with the rest of the world. I don’t know why or how, but the computer has become a major part of my life. Sort of like this blog. I’m seriously obsessed with writing at this point.

That will most likely change next week. When I’m out of town, and a little bit unavailable. Until I get to Las Vegas, where there’s a press room full of wireless Internet connections. I’ll get my fix. I’ll have to. The Internet is my favorite drug. Shit, that’s as weird as it sounds.

As I sit facing Canal Street, I’m thinking…
I don’t think the Asians in Chinatown really like White, Jewish girls. I may be making a rather large, general statement, but when I went into the hardware store near my house this morning, no one wanted to speak English to me. This place is like another world. Another city. It’s exactly where I wanted to live. I’m really happy about my apartment. It’s so strange and exciting, and it’s the first time in 14 months that I’ve had my own space to decorate in my own way. It’s my sanctuary. And that’s exactly what it’s shaping up to look like.

Even if I don’t have a wireless connection. I’m going to cave in and get DSL. Fuck, I already gave in and came to this god-forsaken coffee conglomerate. Don’t hate me for needing my fix. All junkies do.

I never posted this yesterday..so read it today, damn you..
This morning. The F to one stop. Feed cat. Shower. Pack. Go
The A to 14th Street. The L to the next stop. In Brooklyn. Deeper into Brooklyn than is still considered “hip.” Feed another cat. Empty litter. Play with kitty so she doesn’t feel neglected. Leave because you have to get to work. By 11:30AM.

Hop on the M. Take to work. Arrive four minutes late.
All so you can sleep in Chinatown on an air mattress. But it’s your air mattress. Your view of the Manhattan Bridge. Nobody can take that away from you. So you sleep there. Close enough to the cold tire floor to feel the frost. The view is worth it all.

It’s 1:30 before you eat anything today. Accept for the sugar water cappucino that froths and foams its way out of a machine.

Welcome to today.

400 steps, 4 subways, 2 burroughs, 2 cats and 3 apartments later.

All this after I expected to howl at the full moon for two hours last night. Only at Alex Grey’s Spiritual Sanctuary I found a lot of other things, but no howling. Like some interesting art work. I don’t know enough about Alex to comment on his work, but the drum circle was unbelievable. I couldn’t dance because I was, once again, thinking too much. It’s hard to dance when your mind is engaged. I don’t understand why I think too much. Sometimes thinking gets in the way. Especially when you want to dance. Dancing and Thinking don’t mix.
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My fortune cookie reads “nothing in the world is accomplished without passion.” I have plenty of that. Passion. It’s one of the things I can’t live without. Really. I leave in four days. Getting out of New York for 12 days. I’m expecting things to happen, which is never a good thing. So, this week I will focus on flushing out my expectations. After all, everything is found when you weren’t even sure if it was lost. At least that’s what I’ve learned.