Pill Update: So I called my doctor yesterday and the nurse told me that the bleeding is common as my body adjusts to the pill. Still today marks a week, and so far there hasn’t been a day that I haven’t bled. She told me to give it another month before they do anything, and seeing that it really does help reduce the risk of some cancers, I’m going to do just that. But I don’t like that I can’t stop bleeding AT ALL.

“Beware the ides of March..” That’s today…but what the fuck does it mean?

Last night I taught my Sexth Sense workshop to less than a cluster of ladies and men at the exclusive Soho House in NYC. The Soho House is a members only club that features all types of the highest rollers this city has to offer. I taught in the White Room, a room furnished with plush, black, leather couches, a bar and shag carpeting on the floor.

I had originally freaked out yesterday because I wasn’t supposed to teach the class alone, I was supposed to have a co-facilitator, another sex educator from Babeland. But since the group was less than ten, they thought I could handle it on my own. I thought I couldn’t, even though I knew I really would be able to, and wound up spending the remainder of my day nauseous and scared. I wanted to crawl up into a ball and shout “I’m a lump,” and then ask if I could go home from work. But I knew I couldn’t be a lump when the Soho House happened, regardless of how prepared I didn’t realize I was.

Still, there’s no stopping what’s going to happen. There were a total of six “members” who had paid to hear me speak. Five women and one man. It’s actually the kind of workshop I prefer to teach, one with both intimacy and education. And since the drinks kept flowing all night, it became one with great dialogue as well.

First there was the sex hating Jew who had not actually attended my workshop but had found a way to stumble into the room for a peak at the sex toys we were selling after class. She had never owned a sex toy for fear that her mother might find it, a strange thought anyway, and she was amazed that I, a girl who had grown up in the town next to hers, actually had a few toys of my own. She did, by the end of our time together, eventually purchase her first toy.

Then I learned about a Black Amex, something that had impressed one of the members but had meant nothing to a girl who doesn’t understand the value of the dollar. Apparently a Black Amex is an invitation only sort of thing, and you’re only invited to receive one if you spend over $125,000 a year on your credit card bills. If I ever made that sort of money, I don’t know what I’d do with myself, let alone with my exclusive Black Amex.

Then there was the adorable girl who came up to me after the workshop and started her sentence with, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this but…” I love when a sentence starts that way because it means that I’ve gained someone’s trust, made them comfortable with something they might not have been comfortable with before they began, and they had thought that I was someone they could actually trust. I love that.

So last night I realized that this is it, the entrance to the road that I’ve been working on finding for the past few years. I’ve found the direction, I can see where I’m heading, now it’s time to plow ahead. It’s definitely not going to be simple or easy, and it’s going to be time consuming and roller coaster-esque, but still it’s clear that even when I encounter obstacles, like not having a co-facilitator at the Soho House, I’ll be able to eventually kick them out of my path.

I am, in a sense, following the yellow brick road. I just wonder what my wizard will look like.