Have you ever really seen a leprechaun? I think I’m going to eat myself a bowl of Lucky Charms, I know it’s gross that I even have that cereal in my house, but still, it is St. Patty’s Day. Aahh…the luck of the Irish. What about the luck of the Jewish?!!!

It was 6:23AM when my body woke itself up naturally this morning. I stayed in bed 30 seconds too long before deciding I was going to make it to my 6:45AM yoga class. At 6:26AM I realized that probably wasn’t going to happen, and so I opted to not even try. And now, as my water for tea is about to boil, I’m feeling it bigtime. It..that thing that (almost) every Jew is born blessed with. That Jewish Guilt. So instead, I’ll walk the three miles to work this morning. At least I’ll feel like I’ve done something.

I went to hear Beverly Whipple speak last night at the Museum of Sex, the place where, have I mentioned, I will be lecturing on Wednesday, April 20th. It was really cool to get to hear the women who coined the term G-Spot (along with her co-coiner John Perry) talk about that very same thing. Although when I asked her what to say to people who don’t believe it exists, people like Dr. Ruth, she got a bit agitated and said, “I don’t know what to say. I’m just looking at research, that’s all I can say. People believe what people want to believe.” I guess I was hoping for a better answer.

At the end of the lecture, Beverly Whipple read a poem she called Life. After using a little of my former producing skills, I found what she referred to as the poem online. It needs to be shared, and credited as best as it can…but it really stuck with me and that’s all I know. Apparently it’s from a book by James Patterson called “Suzanne’s Diary to Nicholas.”

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work - Family - Health - Friends - Spirit, and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls — family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

1. Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

2. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

3. Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

4. Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

5. Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

6. Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.

7. Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

8. Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

9. Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

10. Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

11. Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

12. Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.”

She closed out the “poem” by reminding me of something I so often forget. Don’t live in the past and don’t live in the future. Live in the PRESENT, it is a gift, that’s why we call it that.

I don’t know if I’m just a sap, or it’s that I’m suffering from a bad case of Jewish Guilt, but everytime I read this, I wanna cry, I wanna shout, I wanna run naked through the streets of New York screaming, LIFE - LIVE IT. I wouldn’t be surprised if that became the next company slogan for one of those sneaker companies that uses lots of cheap labor in other countries, although I’ve heard there are plenty of sweatshops in New York City as well. Okay…how do I switch gears from here?

It is St. Patty’s day. Get dressed up in green, a color that I will refuse to wear today, even if it is my favorite color. Although my jacket’s green, and I hope nobody thinks I’m wearing it because it’s March 17th, still, it is a day to find some friends and get shit faced, and wear green…if that’s your sort of thing. I’m actually going to be in an office all day, which in and of itself might make me green. It don’t matter, just don’t bite it…a phrase my young foolish self used to utter every so often. I’m not sure what I was usually referring to, but you can draw your own conclusions. After all, I am teaching “How to Please Your Man” this Sunday.