I’m procrastinating. Actually that’s only half true. A British film crew should be here in half an hour to talk to me about the moral debate surrounding America’s pornography industry. Sometimes I don’t think it’s so moral. Sometimes I picture it as two little children throwing sand from opposite ends of the box. One says, “I’m right,” and the other says, “I’m right,” and they both wind up with sand in their mouths.

Now - The Brazilian. I never thought I’d get so carried away. I never thought I’d let it go this far. During the filming of Candida Royalle’s “Under the Covers” last month, when I knew I would be exposing my bare bottom for the world to see, or at least for the cast and crew of “Under the Covers” to see, I knew that if I was going to expose myself, I was going to get rid of the hair in my ass. It sometimes grosses me out to talk about the fact that I have hair in my ass, but then I think that we all have hair in our asses, and I don’t feel so bad. Still, I didn’t want to see it on film, so I went to get it waxed out of me.

I went to this really nice lady, Niki, who also happens to thread my brow - which is like using dental floss to remove hair, but it works - and I told her I was ready to take the plunge. Only I wasn’t really fully ready to commit. She told me ripping the hair off my lips would hurt the most, so I told her not to do it. Instead she gave me a nice bikini wax, and took the hair out of my ass. I was satisfied, but still curious.

I’m doing a lot of traveling over the next few weeks. Between traveling and working I hardly have time for anything else. Since this weekend is camping, and next weekend is Mexico, I decided that this past Tuesday would be Brazil(ian). It had to be Tuesday, because that’s the only day that Niki works. And Niki’s so nice and gentle, I wouldn’t let just anybody get their hands on my hoo-hoo. I go back to Niki. She remembers me. Recites off the list of things I want done. We finish the face. She makes me wait. I’m getting more nervous as she flosses another girl