Merry Christmas from me and the cat.

The following has nothing to do with cats.

Five ways I’d want my stocking stuffed this Christmas day.

1. With a Surprise Stuffing. The kind where you have no idea it’s about to happen, and then for reasons beyond your control, it’s happening. It would be like slipping it in at the last second. Could be a quickie, since you weren’t expecting it, or it could be slow and sensual and a pleasant way to pass the afternoon. The nice thing about this stuffing is that it’s totally unplanned and unpredictable.

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