I don’t care if the naked dude on the cover is a teacher or not, I mean teacher’s obviously have “other” lives, even though I remember the first time I saw my second grade teacher, Ms. Fessel, outside of the classroom and I shuddered to think that she was actually human. Up until that point I guess I thought she was machine, a humanoid that “they” (meaning the principal who was for some reason, maybe because I didn’t interact with him on a regular basis, aloud to be human) wound up to teach and then when her battery eventually died she’d just slump over the desk and wait to be wound up again the very next day (on weekends she was just off for a few days, no oil, no winding, no life). Of course the students in Julian’s class may get a bit of an unexpected anatomy lesson if they happen to get their hands on their teacher’s private parts, the ones on display in Playgirl.

Still, the PR whore in me does find it somewhat exciting to turn on Channel 9 news or to read Gothamist and see that the magazine I write for is getting some much needed attention. Remember boys and girls I live by the motto that there’s no such thing as bad publicity (even if yes, I remind myself of my old classmate Steven L., the lawyer who went out of his way to meet a 13 year old girl with whom he exchanged sexy words over the Internet only to find out that she was a he, and he was a cop - okay, that’s bad press). But this is not that kind of press, even it exposes way more of one’s teacher than they want to expose, although c’mon, I would have like to see some of my teachers naked growing up.

Still, I applaud Playgirl because there aren’t many mags that showcase women’s erotica or flash pictures of a variety of naked dicks, and while not all the men in there are for me, or necessarily for women, I like that this magazine exists, and is, for the most part rather tasteful (I say for the most part because I saw an ad or two in the recent issue that makes me sad, in that rainy day and Monday sort of way).

Now speaking of erotica for women, okay I know Playgirl is also for men, but now I’m speaking to women, ladies, girls and gals - I need to know your sexual fantasies. I’ve got lots of great responses for my book, now titled Getting Off, but I could still use a few more quotes for my chapter on fantasies..here are the “questions” (even though yes, they’re not all in question form). Email the answers to hottwax@gmail.com as soon as possible pretty please, with a cherry on top and whip cream dripping all over my warm, naked, smelly dairy-ed up body.

1. Describe a fantasy - no subject is taboo. I’m looking for any fantasies, esp. rape, paying for sex, gender fucking, voyeurism or exhibitionism, kinky sex, sex with strangers, with family, with animals, with your best friend, sex with yourself and toys in all your orifices or toys and humans in most of them, or gang bang sex. These are fantasies, not reality so ANYTHING GOES. Email me a paragraph or two about your best, favorite, most taboo fantasy - include a publishable first name and age.

2. Why do you watch porn, read erotica? What is/are your favorite porn and/or erotica?

That’s it. Two simple questions that might be fun to answer. And might help other women learn new things, or discover they aren’t alone in their thoughts. Doesn’t that make you feel good? Don’t you want to help out your fellow female? Answer me please….