This morning I had two extremely vivid dreams. The first took place in a large auditorium where I was taking notes on my computer when out of nowhere I lost control of my laptop and it accidentally flew out of my hands, and then it slammed right into one of those old-fashioned overhead projectors. I ran to pick it up, lost my grip and it flung itself even farther down the steps. When I finally reached the computer I noticed that there was this pale pink, gooey ooze seeping out from beneath the keys. I didn’t know what to do, and nobody else knew how to help me either. I began to think my computer was part machine, part human. Like the Cylons in the new Battlestar Galactica. Cause goo could mean my computer has boogers, or phlegm, or even puss.

Why is puss such a gross word?

Then I woke up. And I had to question the whereabouts of my computer, and honestly I was more than relieved to find that it was safely tucked away in its computer bag. All dry. No goo. Just dirt. Lots of dark dirt on my white macbook. Poivre moi.

The next dream was a vivid masturbation dream. I was lying in bed and I had to get up to go to school but I didn’t want to. My professor, Derek, was going to tell us about our final English project, and I had to get to class by 1:45. But all I wanted to do was masturbate.

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