I was recently invited on a radio talk show out of Philadelphia to discuss what is, and isn’t, sex. Seems that kids these days define sex as some things but not others. According to many a high schooler, anal sex is not sex. Oral sex - not sex. Vaginal sex, well, okay, you got them there. So, me and Dr. Mazz (as he likes to be called), had this shortish conversation about the topic. About what the definition of sex is. Here are my thoughts. If you want to listen to my less thought out thoughts, here is the page where you can listen to, or download, the podcast.

Sex is a sticky subject especially when it comes to defining it - no pun intended - well, maybe a little pun was actually intended. I mean for some people the act of kissing might be defined as sex. For others touching or using one’s mouth on another’s toes might be considered sex. Basically sex is whatever one believes it to be, well, to a certain extent. If your child runs home tomorrow and tells you that he’s had sex because he’s held hands with someone else while waiting on line for his hot lunch in the school cafeteria, you might want to correct him. If for no other reason, do it for the sake of not letting him grow up to be made fun of every time he thinks he’s had sex by holding someone’s hand. For me, sex involves penetration. It involves touching some part of the body that isn’t exposed to all people at all times. That means you have to get under something, like under pants, in order to completely have what I define as sex.

So how do I define sex? Sex is actually inserting something inside of your genitals, or actually inserting your genitals inside of something. This does include your anus (not to be confused with Uranus) and your mouth. And yes, you can have sex with an inanimate object, like a cherry pie or a banana, as long as you insert yourself in it or insert it in you.  And, yes, you can also have sex with someone by putting your mouth on her clit. It may not be vaginal-penile sex, but it is sex.

One other bit of old-fashioned advice. If you’re not sure if you’re about to have sex with somebody, you should ask them before you suck them off. You should ask them before you insert yourself in their back door, front door or anywhere in between. Just ask them, is this sex? That is if you’re wondering if it is indeed sex.  And you should tell them if you consider what you’re doing sex too. Even say “I’m going to have sex with you now” to be sure. Perhaps it’s because lots of youngins don’t learn about sex at school (you mean abstinence isn’t sex?) that they’re not sure what it is. Maybe it’s about time we do something to change that.