“Mike Huckabee, who believes that homosexuality is a choice, will leave his wife after falling victim to “the homosexual ways.” He and Ted Haggard will have a brief, and secret, fling and then he’ll go on to marry Ann Coulter. After his failed presidential bid – because please, we’re not that dumb of a country to actually vote him in office, are we? – he’ll realize that he needs a new image and he’ll claim that because of Ann Coulter, he is now a changed man. He and Coulter will go on to hate the world together and they will raise horses on a horse farm in the middle of Iowa.”