I was recently wading through a sea of emails on the subject of the placement of semen on one’s body. It seems that when it comes to where semen is deposited, coming on the face of the “semen-recipient” illicits the most debate.

Porn has placed a high value on the facial, a standard and seemingly erotic act of depositing semen around the eyes, nose and mouth. It has shown women, and men, eagerly anticipating the final moments of his orgasmic climax when he’ll spurt, spurt and splatter near an open facial orifice. Often times the performer being spurted on looks a bit like a deer caught in headlights, wanting to run out of the way, but frozen in the moment between dry mouth and wet face.

I’ve seen this traditional “Oh no, you’re about to come on my face,” face in more adult movies than I care to admit, and while in my personal life, a little come on the face can be erotic for both parties involved, when it comes to watching it in the movies, I’m not a fan. To me, the intimacy of the act, and the possible degrading feelings that may ensue, should be taken into consideration more often than they are on film. If you aren’t comfortable with your partner, or, if like in most porn, you just met that day, a little come on the face is usually a little too much.

And definitely, no matter what don’t get it in the eyes, it burns like a motherf*cker on fire.

However, there are plenty of reasons people are cool with a splatter of semen on or around the cheeks. As I mentioned before, it can be highly erotic for both you and/or your partner. Some people like rubbing peen against their face, and sometimes when rubbing peen against a face these squirting types of things happen, and again, may be erotic or actually comforting. It’s also an alternative to the mouth, but still close to the mouth, and in the position where the giver is lying on their back and the receiver is hanging out over his or her mouth, it’s a good place to aim for.

Stretching it here, but come on the face may lead to a facial massage using semen as massage oil, or semen, some think, may be good for the skin. And maybe, in a role-play situation, this makes the guy doing the spurting the dom, and the other person is the sub, and each views coming on the face as an act of dominance and submission, and they like it.

Of course with any of those positive views of “facial come,” there’s always the negative ones too. Like I said, it happens too often in porn, and it rarely ever looks like she likes it, or wants it. Some people find it degrading. Others think you shouldn’t spill seed like that, and that if you do spill seed, why put it so close to your mouth, nose or eyes? Another part of the population probably thinks that a “real” lady would never do such a thing. And some people think semen is just plain gross.

And so, I don’t like the facials in films, and in my films I didn’t let one woman take it to the face, although I did let one take it to the back of the head, in her hair, but it was her partner of eight years and she was game and we all thought it was silly and cool. But I’d probably even avoid the hair next time, since that meant she had to shower right after the act. Still, the location of come is definitely a hot button topic for those who both give and receive it, and it will continue to be for as long as men can come.

And since sexuality is a complex and curious thing, what we do with our legs spread and on the verge of orgasm isn’t always what we say we would do, or isn’t always as good and clean as someone else thinks it should be. Because sex gets us hot, bothered and horny, and this helps transform us back into the animals that we truly are. So look past the disgust or the delight in doing what you do, and bask in the knowledge that you can do whatever it is that you want to do with your partner, as long as its consensual (and doesn’t involve children or animals). And if that means you want to take one to the face, then so be it. And if it doesn’t – the breasts, belly and back are my favorite spots for a semen landing. Just don’t do it in the eyes.