I came across TSX Toys today, and I don’t think these are either humanly or humanely possible but still I can’t get over some of the crazy sex toys these mofo’s put out. Then I thought what a great way to almost start the new year – by filling your heads with a whole host of impossible things made possible by some people with an odd penis (and fist) obsession. I think this stuff borders on art, really, I do, especially after seeing a yogurt lid stapled to the wall at MOMA the other week.

But why don’t you be the judge of that?

Up first…The concubine master takes the pearl necklace and mixes it with vagina and a battery operated vibe. I’d love to see pics of their model for this one. Do you think the ad read, looking for a woman without a torso. Seriously, bordering on more than the bizarre, but that’s why I love this (and yes, I know no real model was used to make this exact replica), or maybe I don’t know..hmm..

Batting second… I’ve heard of a triple header (in baseball, that’s why I use the batting reference, get it?) but this triple head, also known as “three bangs for your butt,” takes peni to a whole new level. Anyway you stack it, actually this is the only way you can stack it, there’s a whole lot of head here.

As the old adage goes, “a fist in the butt is like two in the..” oh wait, wrong adage. Regardless, here you can see two fists in a butt, or what it would look like if you could mold two fists together to make one toy. It’s not the double header (more baseball references), no, it’s the double fister, sister!

Bunboy looks really happy. That’s all I can say. I mean I see the second gaping asshole, but bunboy’s ass seems well stuffed, and if Bunboy is happy, then isn’t that really all that matters here?