Lately the words jizz and jism have been swarming around my head like the explosion that can occur when said material (technically called semen) erupts from the head of his over swollen dick, cock or penis (you choose the word you prefer, I choose the middle word if you ask).

So, today is all about jizzly jism, and no I don’t know many people who would be this excited about a load of semen making it’s way to their face like this:

BeachBlack, apparently the hippest nail polish makers on the block are releasing a new color this year. It’s called jizz and that’s because it looks like healthy jizz, not because it’s made out of anyone’s now-defunct fetus making material.

And what’s up Fox Five New York’s anchor Rosanna Scotto (my new favorite news anchor fyi)? When asked the question should milk, not from a cow, be called milk? – a dumb question on a few levels but on the level that other animals make milk is probably the most obvious (goat’s, humans, sheep, etc) - but what was actually being referred to here are milks made out of products like soy and rice. Still when Rosanna Scotto is asked “what should soy and rice milk be called, her response is priceless.

Soy jism, rice jism, it doesn’t matter, I’ll never look at my alternative “milk” products the same way again.