There’s a lot I’ve been meaning to post but travel and fatigue have kept me from writing too much. But I wanted to share some thoughts, and experiences, I had last week upon participating in Barbara Carrellas’ magnificent Urban Tantra Teacher Training. If you don’t know about Barbara, or her amazing book, you should watch my review here.

Now, on to some of what I took away from five days with the most magical, magnificent group of urban tantra enthusiasts a girl could ask for.

I learned about my body. Really learned about my body. As a sex educator I have often find it challenging to go outside my comfort zone and create the right space for me to learn in. I feel like I should know more than I know, but then I realize I learn more by admitting I don’t know everything (which I will always and happily admit) and then by challenging myself to learn everything I know, and then some, again and again. And this was the perfect space to push myself. I re-learned about my threshold for pain (high) and that if I really concentrate on my breathing, magical things happen to my extremities. I learned the power of healing myself from within and healing others from within and without, and even if that doesn’t make sense, it does at least sound poetic, right?

I learned about sex work and I watched real life goddesses (seriously) dance around and create pleasure. I learned about tantra and massage and how to tie ropes, and that domination can be effectively administered in the most gentle of ways. I was also reminded that words can’t express what you can see in an eye gaze. I learned that masculine and feminine are not what they seem, and that gender is hard to define and that taking one’s time to “gender” walk across the room and only making it across once in 30 minutes is not long at all in the grand scheme of things.

And I love that Barbara defines tantric sex (in her book) as any type of sex you do with awareness, verse a certain type of sex that has to be done one way. Awareness, that’s something I was reminded of. How to be aware, not just of my sexuality, but more aware of my own power and potential.

And while that’s only part of what I learned, it’s enough to share for now. This has been a TMI moment.