It’s Thursday and that means you’ve got sex questions (email them to hottwax at gmail dot com) and I’ve got sometimes sexy answers. Today’s question goes anal.

Question: Can anal sex permanently stretch out your butthole?

Answer: There seem to be a lot of things that scare people about anal sex, the above question being one of them (other concerns include, but are not limited to, pain, poop and pressure), but rest assured unless you’re ramming a small garden gnome up your bum every day for an unspecified amount of time, like 23 hours, and I mean ramming, and maybe not 23 hours, but a long time, or treating your butt like a bad boy instead of a baby, your butthole should be just fine after your done getting pounded in it.

That being said, you must listen to your body and your bum.  Adult film legend Nina Hartley has some great quotes about anal stimulation including, “you have to seduce your ass every time.” Urban Tantra author and sex educator Barbara Carrellas says the butt will “invite you in.” This may sound silly, but it’s not because good anal sex requires plenty of prep, patience and pleasure (before poking too). Sure, having anal sex is more work than not having anal sex, but there are so many sensitive nerve endings that surround the rectum, that even if you never go in, you’ll be glad you’ve gone back there.

I’m not going to give you a primer on anal sex, (thanks Freddy and Eddy) but you do need to remember to listen to your butt every time. Because even if you like a little anal action every day, there are just going to be some days that your anus doesn’t want you to act. Anuses have a harder time healing when they’re not being heard. That means go slow, even slower than you think you may want to, especially while you get to know your body and your anal limits. Use plenty of LUBE and always listen to where you’re at. If you’re anus doesn’t want to go with your plan, then you need to get with its program.

I’m not saying A.S.S. has never happened, but the concern around “my asshole has been stretched and I don’t know what to do about it,” shouldn’t be much of a concern if you’re playing nice with your body and encouraging pleasurable anal sex, only when you want it, and how you want it. If that’s the case, your asshole should go back to being shapely and happy again in almost no time flat (or at least after an hour or so). It’s all a matter of how you use it.

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For more on anal read the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women or Anal Pleasure and Health or watch Expert Guide to Anal Sex for Men or Expert Guide to Anal Sex for Women.