March 02, 2005
The Internet Touch
I am so cursed when it comes to getting Internet access..so cursed. Okay, so first, the DSL thing that never happened, because I don't have copper wires in my basement. Whatever. Apparently copper wires aren't so hard to come by. Unless of course you live in the projects, than you get no respect whether you have fiberglass or copper. Again - whatever. So today I got my second email from Verizon letting me know that they have reviewed my line and they can't give me DSL access. I guess that's a good thing since I CANCELLED MY PHONE LINE DAYS AGO, and besides, they had sent me an email over a week ago already telling me this.
Okay, then today. So I happily and anxiously sign up for cable - (thanks to some added encouragement from the peanut gallery). I am overly psyched when they tell me that I can have Internet access by this Wednesday..meaning today..YIPPEE!!! Yesterday the nice automated cable lady called my cell phone and had me press 1 to reconfirm our appointment. I was so stoked about cable, pathetic, but true, and so stressed about life. See, I've been suffering from the realization that I currently feel as if I'm running on a treadmill, reaching for the cheese that's hanging above my head, but not being able to grab at it. I love cheese. And I hate running in place. So, this scenario makes me a very cranky lady. But, that's just my career...it'll change soon...promise...
Anyway, so on top of this "treadmill trauma," I'm now waiting and waiting for the cable guygal to come and it's 11:25 and I realize that they are only supposed to come between the hours of 8AM and 12Noon and now I have this feeling that they aren't coming at all. So I call Time Warner Cable and punch in my number and I hear the lovely recorded lady's voice say, "You have an appointment scheduled for March 4th, from 10-2PM." I start freaking out in my mind. After 20 minutes or so, I get an operator who tells me that someone has called TWC this morning and cancelled my appointment! I am appalled, actually worse than that, I start to cry. More like bawl. Like this is the worst thing in the world, when I fucking know it doesn't even come close. I speak to a supervisor. They ask me if I'm sure I haven't cancelled. I tell them that unless I'm schizophrenic, I didn't call them this morning. I laugh, cause at least I find this funny. They tell me they'll see what they can do. I hear nothing for hours...
I'm typing this blog and I get a call that they can't come today, but they have set up a time more in tune with my schedule. And although now I type this and want to be angry, I'm feeling a bit better, even though I've been feeling progressively happier all day.
See, I gave myself appropriate alone time today, something I've been challenging myself to do more and more these past few weeks. I need to realize that I am the only person who will always be able to make me happy. Life will happen. People will crap on you, you'll crap on them, good things will come to you, bad things too and stupid people will constantly be in positions of authority. I'm learning how to deal with all of this information as I continue to go through this evolution thing. Last night as I was dozing off to sleep I came up with my newest "calming" mantra:
Whatever is supposed to be will be. It will happen how it should happen.
Not too original. But maybe original isn't what I'm looking for today.
Posted by jamye at March 2, 2005 04:00 PM