March 20, 2005
We Love Prostate!!!!
I was trying to make a clever list of ways to please your man, since I'm supposed to be clever and funny in 9 hours. But, the list wasn't all that funny, and I didn't want to make it funny at the expense of women, by saying things like just shut up and blow, because there are lots of other places that will do just that. So I've opted to blog about something else instead. It's still part of pleasing a man, it's just a little more focused.
I was reading on the train yesterday, the LIRR not the Subway, when the ticket man came up to me and asked if the title of the book was really something he could learn to do (The Multi-Orgasmic Man). I said yes and suggested he pick up a copy of this sucker. I think every man and every one who fucks a man should know about this book...Then, at a party last night, I began to talk about sex, and sexuality, not all that surprising a conversation I know, and realized we need to talk more about it. More about....
THE PROSTATE, the male G-spot, the little walnut shaped gland that all men have but not all men use. I'm thinking it's really important that men massage their prostate. Either by yourself, or with a partner, just touch the fucking thing.
1 out of every 10 or 11 men, the statistic varied in the book The Multi-Orgasmic Man (Chia, Abrams) and I'm too lazy to look it up anywhere else, will eventually get prostate cancer. Loving your prostate can help you stay healthy longer. Now back to our regular programming...
The prostate. Say this with me, I love my (insert word here: boyfriend/husband/fuck buddy/own/lover/partner/*You get the picture) prostate and I'm going to make sure that it gets the necessary attention and adoration it deserves.
Great! The easiest way to gain access to our little friend is by lying on your back (this is for the person with the prostate) and putting a finger or a butt plug in your butt. Anything that goes up your ass must have a flared base or be attached to a larger object that cannot get sucked up your rectum..okay, enough. If you were to insert a well lubed finger into your butt, you would proceed with a "come hither" sort of motion in order to feel the feel. It's the same motion that you use to find a lady's G-Spot, if you're into that sort of thing. The prostate lies just above the pubic bone, behind the perineum or taint (taint your ass, taint your balls), between 1 and 2 inches inside the anterior wall of the rectum. You can also access Mr. Protty Prostate - fine not all that clever, but I'm trying to keep it light in the midst of all this prostate talk by pushing on the "Million Dollar Spot" - the place in between the butt and the balls where this baby resides.
Start out slow and gentle, even though you'll need some pressure to really get at this puppy. It's much easier and nicer to touch the prostate after he is adequately aroused. Once your man's really excited, you can start to massage that sucker.
If you're helping a partner out and he's on all fours, a hot thought in and of itself, just adjust your hands accordingly. Instead of a come hither motion, it's more of a go there sort of thing. And when you're ready to "go there" you can strap on a dildo and harness and give it to him in the butt. Butt...That's a conversation for another time.
Oh, and you can orgasm through prostate stimulation alone, which is a fun fact in and of itself. It's just a different kind of ejaculation, more of a slow drip than a fire hydrant that has just been opened sort of thing.
Filed under the just in case you were wondering portion: Inserting your finger into your butt does not make you gay, unless of course you want to be gay.
Here are my recommendations for some additional information:
Books:
The Multi-Orgasmic Man (Chia, Abrams)
The Ultimate Guide to Strap on Sex (Fairy Butch)
Anal Pleasure and Health (Morin)
Video:
Bend Over Boyfriend (the first one)
Nina Hartley's Guide to Anal Sex (although I haven't seen it, I like everything she does)