jamYe waXman. seX matters.

Loving Morty Diamond

I have no time to write anything else. Got home yesterday. Fly to Chicago tomorrow. Hopefully catch my flight home - will have less than an hour to get to the airport and get on the plane. Will be carrying dildos in my bag, which I'm sure will just help me breeze through security. Thursday day - meeting with big woman's magazine. Thursday night - drive out to my parents to return the car I've borrowed for the past two weeks just so I could go to Delaware and DC. Fly to Mexico Friday. Return again next Tuesday, but leave for Missouri on Saturday. Have a number of writing deadlines. Have a number of other deadlines. Insert bitch. Insert moan. Insert get a fucking life, I'm complaining about vacations and luxury problems.

Okay. I'm sorry.

I do love Morty Diamond!

TRANSGENDER PERFORMANCE ARTIST MORTY DIAMOND SET TO PERFORM NEW LIVE PIECE ‘ASK A TRANNY’ ON THE STREETS OF NYC.

New York, NY -- May 25, 2006

Transgender artist Morty Diamond, is set to perform a new provocative live
public performance piece titled Ask A Tranny on the streets of New York City
in June 2006. The simplicity of the performance, sitting behind a small desk
with a sign above it reading Ask A Tranny, gives way to the intricacies of
how the public might react to a trans person outing themselves. By inserting
himself into the cultural dialogue this way Morty is making himself a
conscious spectacle, trying to discover how the public truly feels about
trans people. Ask A Tranny gives the viewer a chance to be a voyeur by
having a trans person in front of them proclaiming their gender identity
loud and clear. Talking about his new performance Morty says “I am a trans
person who happens to pass as male every day of my life. Yet, I am shedding
this skin and proclaiming myself loud and clear, and the consequence of this
is a total mystery.”

Morty will be out on the streets of New York City performing Ask A Tranny
from noon to 6pm on Saturday June 10th in Union Square directly across from
Whole Foods, and noon to 6pm Sunday June 11th in Times Square around 42nd
Street and Broadway, with subsequent dates to follow.

Morty Diamond is best known for his performance piece in 2005 titled My Year
In Pink in which he wore only the color pink for the whole year. The Village
Voice proclaimed him “Best Man In Pink” in their Best Of New York yearly
review in 2005. Morty has also dipped his hand into the filmmaking genre
with his trans porno Trannyfags (2004). Morty is available for interviews by
contacting him by email at morty@mortydiamond.com.

The Brazilian

I'm procrastinating. Actually that's only half true. A British film crew should be here in half an hour to talk to me about the moral debate surrounding America's pornography industry. Sometimes I don't think it's so moral. Sometimes I picture it as two little children throwing sand from opposite ends of the box. One says, "I'm right," and the other says, "I'm right," and they both wind up with sand in their mouths.

Now - The Brazilian. I never thought I'd get so carried away. I never thought I'd let it go this far. During the filming of Candida Royalle's "Under the Covers" last month, when I knew I would be exposing my bare bottom for the world to see, or at least for the cast and crew of "Under the Covers" to see, I knew that if I was going to expose myself, I was going to get rid of the hair in my ass. It sometimes grosses me out to talk about the fact that I have hair in my ass, but then I think that we all have hair in our asses, and I don't feel so bad. Still, I didn't want to see it on film, so I went to get it waxed out of me.

I went to this really nice lady, Niki, who also happens to thread my brow - which is like using dental floss to remove hair, but it works - and I told her I was ready to take the plunge. Only I wasn't really fully ready to commit. She told me ripping the hair off my lips would hurt the most, so I told her not to do it. Instead she gave me a nice bikini wax, and took the hair out of my ass. I was satisfied, but still curious.

I'm doing a lot of traveling over the next few weeks. Between traveling and working I hardly have time for anything else. Since this weekend is camping, and next weekend is Mexico, I decided that this past Tuesday would be Brazil(ian). It had to be Tuesday, because that's the only day that Niki works. And Niki's so nice and gentle, I wouldn't let just anybody get their hands on my hoo-hoo. I go back to Niki. She remembers me. Recites off the list of things I want done. We finish the face. She makes me wait. I'm getting more nervous as she flosses another girl’s brows. Then she takes me to the back room where I proceed to undress.

"I'm going to go for the almost full Brazilian." I tell her. "Just leave a little patch of hair on the front."

She happily obliges. Things get started. Not so bad, but not so good. Have you ever had a waxing? If you haven't, it might be hard to imagine, but if you have, you're probably already feeling my pain. Someone drips hot wax on your body with a tongue depressor, and then with a swatch of paper towel, after pressing the paper towel into your body to stick to the wax, they literally rip the towel, and wax off of you. I'm amazed that your skin even stays on, because I'm talking RIP if off here...

Anyway, the top of my mound is not so pleasant. As she proceeds further down, it gets even worse. And then I notice I'm bleeding.

"This is perfectly normal," she tells me. "Lots of women bleed when areas are first waxed."

Whomever thought of this, I wonder. I mean, did someone once, accidentally, drip hot wax all over their body, and then decide to rip it off with some paper towel to see what it did. It's such a simple, painful procedure. Where did it come from?

I try to stay still, but my pussy is throbbing. It's as if it as a heartbeat of its own. It's warm and getting warmer by the minute. And not in that good warm and fuzzy sort of way.

And then she goes for the lips. Rrrriiipppppp......I let out a yelp. She asks if I'm okay. I tell her I am, although deep down inside I'm afraid that next time she rips, I might bite off my tongue. I practice breathing. I think of anything I can think of, just so I don’t think. I can’t think. Not in the moment. I can’t go through with this. That’s what I’m thinking. So what can I think of. I can’t think of the fact that she's not done getting the hair off this lip, and then there's a whole other side. I think of nothing.

I'm not big into this waxing I decide. But I don't mind how it feels when she rips the hair out of my ass. I don’t like how it looks doing it, but I don’t mind how it feels. Imagine, kneeling down on all fours, and then spreading your own butt cheeks, so some stranger can proceed to look at your asshole and rip out your ass hairs. It's a dirty job, but Niki’s got to do it.

We finish and it takes longer than I remember, and I'm in pain. After I put back my clothes, I begin leaking all over the place, thanks to the globs of oil and lotion Niki's lathered onto my body to stop the irritation and “normal amounts” of bleeding. I get off the subway to go help out with a radio show, and my butt starts to vibrate. I mean really vibrate. It's as if someone's manipulating a vibrator in my ass. Since I know there's no vibrator between my two butt cheeks, I'm not sure about the feeling. But I go with it. I mean, what else can I do really?

The whole night, every time I pee, I check out my coochie. It's red and plump and it's angry at me for putting it through some form of torture. I get home that night and show J. what I've done. He seems to like it a little, but not as much as the pain is worth. We both agree a little more hair couldn't hurt. And this is quite a relief, as I don't really want to wax my lips again. I don't mind the bikini, or the vibrating butt (at least in the end), but I don't want to lose anything precious and near my lips (i.e. my clit). So I'm happy to stay away from those parts.

Truth is, I'm not even thinking about when I'm going to do this again. There's too many weeks of too many things, and hair or no hair, I've got places to go. And none of them have Brazil in the title.

Masturbate in May

What's up with these turtles?

Did you hear me on "The Romaine Show" last night? Just asking...

It's almost over, but it is Masturbation May. If you've got a hot masturbation story, you could win a prize, just click on Eros Boutique to find out more.

Self love is super sexy, so is mutual masturbation. Tonight if you can, go home and masturbate for your partner while they masturbate for you. Watch them stroke themselves or rub their nub, and don't forget to make eye contact. It's just a thought, but a yummy, delicious one nonetheless. Have you ever noticed how many people use words like yummy and delicious when talking about sex? Obviously I just did it too, but I'm now calling myself out on it.

Also, I'm writing a book and I need FEMALE responses. I've got a load of questions to ask you about WOMEN LOVING WOMEN. If you have stories you want to share, it could be anonymous, or first names only, I'd love to hear them. I can also email you the list of questions I'm asking, just drop me a line - jamyew@gmail.com, and let me know that I can send you the letter and list.

And I'm available for all your sexy summer parties. Not as a guest, well, I'm available for that too, cause everybody loves a party, but since now tis the season for bachelorette parties, you can talk to me about doing a private shindig in your hood. And then I get to meet you too. Okay, I'm done self loving for the day. At least this form of self love. But, odds are, not in the other.

What's goin' on.

Just got back from Washington DC, a place where the license plates read "Taxation without Representation." While there, I attended the largest convention I've ever attended, it's called the Book Expo of America and I was completely blown away and, at times, mildly overwhelmed. And then I couldn't decide:

Bill Murray or Jim Belushi?

At first I really thought it was Bill Murray. I pontificated if I should approach him and explain that I never fully got that translation movie, and that I didn't understand what all they hype was about. But I totally loved that Steve Zizou movie, or whatever it was called. Only thing is he was constantly being bombarded by fans, so I decided to snap this shot and stay away. An hour later I was walking down one of the myriad of book aisles when I saw an ad for a new Jim Belushi book. It was then that I realized that this guy looked an awful lot like Bill Murray. And then I got all confused. What had been a cool "close encounter" became a not as cool but still okay possiblility. Had I indeed snapped a shot of Belushi? Or was it really Murray? I showed some people later that night. They were all pretty sure it was Belushi. They were all pretty astonished that I even thought it could be Murray. I'm still not sure I know for certain. But I do know that it's easy to mix up Bill Murray and Jim Belushi. I also brushed by Amy Sedaris, who rocks and looks so cute in hoop dresses. And got to say hello to Violet Blue, as it has been almost two years since I've run in to her, and she is, in my opinion, the best sex writer out there. Her new book, Fetish Sex, looks hot and well written (I mean, I just said she's the best sex writer out there).

While in DC I also introduced my new lover to a former flame. Well, he was also a co worker, and a friend, but for a brief period of time, in fact a briefer period of time than even I remembered, we had gotten naked and did stuff to each other that young children are no longer allowed to learn about in school. I hadn't seen him in years. It was great and, in some ways strange, as two totally polar opposite worlds suddenly collided. And he had a girlfriend too. And maybe all Jewish girls look alike, at least on the East Coast, because she had dark eyes and curly brown hair and it freaked me out that we had similar physical traits. It's like all of a sudden you know somebody's type, and you fit the mold perfectly. I, on the other hand, don't have a type. Although I guess lately I've like my men with lighter hair, not as in less heavy or not as much of it, but as in blonde or red headed. But I can't say I have a type. Although maybe I just did.

I can say that Playgirl has changed their wesbite. It's much more of a paysite these days, but my podcasts are still free. It looks pretty cool, and there's a new podcast up here.

Also, tomorrow night I'm cohosting the Derek and Romaine Show on Sirius OutQ. Seriously. Check us out.

And it's official. I've graduated with my Masters in Sex Education. Only took 4.5 years. YEAH!

Call for Couples

I think you've already heard this one before, but since I've been granted more time, it bears repeating. And since it's not all that exciting to some of you, I've decided to put this picture up too. It's just a tease, y'see...

Hello friends, family and fellow countrymen and countrywomen,

It is I, Jamye Waxman, and feeling the need to pick your brains yet one more time, I am sending out this fairly urgent request. I am still looking for 2 – 3 couples to grace the pages of an upcoming issue of (a very large) Magazine. The piece, originally scheduled for the September issue, has now been pushed back until November, giving me even more time to find just the right fit.

What is the right fit you may ask? I'm looking for couples that preferably live OUTSIDE of New York, or at least New York City. COUPLES that have been together for a long or short period of time, but not too short, and couples who love talking about sex. They should also be okay with having their picture in a magazine. Now, for the couples, here's what I'd really love (if I could have my way).

One couple that is married and has at least one child.
One couple that is not "white"
One couple with a disability
And any other couple that feels like they could and would love to be part of this assignment. (yes, that's more than three couples, I'm well aware)
So what am I writing?

It's an article about "sex homework." I'm looking for couples who want to try something new, in order to revitalize, remake or expand their sexual repetoire.

Perhaps you've had a sexual goal, something you've been looking to accomplish for a while and you want to try it out. Or you've always wanted to unleash a sexual fantasy, and now you have permission to reveal it. Maybe you want to work on something in the relationship and think that doing a new activity can help.

Here's how it will go down. You'll send me a picture to jamyew@gmail.com and a possible idea of what you want to do and why. If selected, you'll actually try out this sex thing and then you'll tell me all about it. We'll have a panel of three sex experts (two therapists, one educator) who will discuss what you've done and the end results. Then you'll get a nice photo shoot, courtesy of the magazine, and your picture and story will appear together in an upcoming issue. YES, THAT MEANS YOU MIGHT EVEN GET A FREE TRIP TO NEW YORK!!!

Here are some ideas to help get you started:

Good Couples Porn
There's plenty of porn out there, but not plenty of porn out there that you want to watch. From shoes to orgasms, women can tell the fake from the real, and we know when the shoes are as cheap as the sex is. One couple will take the plunge for the rest of humanity. Given three "couples friendly" videos, they'll tell us which ones are worth the watch, and which ones aren't. Which couples videos will pass the eyegasm test?

Make your own movie or Taking dirty pictures
Ever thought about making your own erotic movie/posing for dirty pictures? Can't be too hard, can it? One couple takes the plunge and gets naked for their own camera. They'll tell us what goes right, and what goes wrong.

Toys and Shapes
Perhaps you'd like to try a certain type of toy. Or maybe the liberator shapes. This is the perfect opportunity to do so.

Sex in Public
Sex in public, but not too public a space. You choose the place, or we can come up with suggestions too, and go for it. Are you in your own backyard, or a large open field? How does sex in public feel? You'll tell us about the liberation and the anxiety, and anything in between.

13 Questions

Things I often wonder:

1. Why do we have cat years and dog years? If a dog lives 20 years, then he lived 20 years, not something like (20 x 7) or 140 years. Who came up with cat years and dog years anyway?

2. Is it better to be complacent or constantly changing?

3. How many people have ever met an alien? How many people believe those people?

4. Why wasn't I born with one of those super speedy metabolisms?

5. How cool is it that we can fly in really heavy machines?

6. How many children ever think about growing up to work in the sex industry?

7. Whatever happened to Big Fiji and Little Fiji and the rest of the Glorious Ladies of Wrestling (GLOW)?

8. If I could have a big train running through my house, like Ricky Shroeder did in Silver Spoons, would I want one? Or would that just make me lazy?

9. How long is the Williamsburg Bridge, and why don't I just look it up?

10. Am I too aggressive in some ways and not aggressive enough in others? Am I really who I think I am? Or am I someone else entirely?

11. Is there life after death? And if we come back, is it only as another human?

12. Do we have a twin living somewhere else in the world, doing the same things we do, dating the same people we date, having the same feelings we feel, only it's different?

13. Is 13 lucky or unlucky?

Mothers Day 06

An aside: I'm sorry if you have or had an evil mother and you hate her and want nothing to do, or have nothing to do with her anymore. I'm sorry if you've lost your mother and are saddened on days like today, or if, like someone I care about, you lost a child only the day before the day that would celebrate you as a mother, and now today is a constant reminder of sadness or gloom. Today is Mothers Day, and for some reason, it's something that Americans take part in, again and again, year after year. Now I must continue...

My mother. Her hair is much longer these days.

It's Mothers Day, and while I'm all about dedicating a day to celebrate mother's, I'm also not all that sure why we have to set aside a certain day each year to spotlight something that should be appreciated always. If for nothing more than the mere fact that the person you might quite possibly call "mom," carried you in her womb for any number of months, most likely 8 to10, and there she housed you, fed you and kept you warm and comfy, you should always appreciate your mom. Or maybe because the person you call "mom" cared about your cuts and bruises and kissed them all to make them go away, you should always appreciate your mother. Especially as one begins to generally accept and understand all that it means to be a mom, it's important to appreciate the women and men who choose to do so. But is it so important to have one day a year to do that?

No. I don't think so. I mean I think it's more special to buy your mother flowers for no reason at all and take her out to a nice dinner, or cook her dinner, just because you love her. I think it's nice to send your mom a card for no reason, or call her up and say thank you some other time of the year.

And yet I understand we're all about tradition, and that today is a day full of flowers and food and for us, in America, this is tradition. And in June we'll do it all over for the people with penises.

But today isn't as important to me, outside of it being May 14th, the closest date to the future that I've ever been lucky enough to experience (of course that's until May 15th rolls around), but I don't think that I need to tell my mom I love her anymore than any other day of the year.

Still, I'm a sucker. And I call the ladies in my family to wish them a happy Mother's day. And I wait for my foster cat to wish me a happy Mother's day, only he doesn't. And I look at the drugstore to see how many cards have been sucked up from loving family and friends as an ode to the mom. And I suck up some cards too, and send them on their way.

So, yes, while I think Mother's day should be as no big, just like Secretary's day, Valentines Day, and/or Father's day too, I still give in to the urge. I mean, c'mon now, I don't want to look like a bad daughter.

Dialogue-ing in my head

"Houston. We have a problem."

I know. The cat's whining for food. But he's so cute when he whines. In fact, I sort of encourage him to whine. I know that's not what you want to hear, but do you want me to lie?

"No. That's not the problem."

But HE IS whining.

"NO, your electricity is out. As in not ON, not WORKING, not DOING ANYTHING FOR YOU. Well, except for this one outlet in the kitchen, which ironically is the outlet that houses the Internet access. You're still online, but you won't be able to see after dark. And your food might spoil."

Does that mean the cat will stop whining?

"Once you feed him, yes. But no, not until then."

Yes Houston, it seems we do have a problem, and it has nothing to do with the cat. Or maybe we just have more than one problem. But at least I have Internet access, that's one less problem than I could have. (Look, the glass is half full). Without the Internet access, I'd have more than just one or two problems. But I already said that.

"What's your problem?"

What do you mean what's my problem, You already told me my problem. I'm without electricity. THAT'S MY PROBLEM. I guess I should get myself in the shower and stuff. So that, if and when I can't see anymore tonight, well, I mean I can see, but I'll have to see in the dark, I'll be all dressed and ready to go out.

"Maybe you should do that then."

Yeah. Maybe. Since I have nothing more to say to myself now. Well, I mean I do, but it's not all that interesting.

Sex fact for today: Horomonally speaking, both men and women reach their "sexual peaks" in their mid-20s.

Since you've been away

"Since you've been away I've been down and lonely. Since you've been away I've been thinking of you..." (Who knows of where this comes?")

Since I've been away (from this blog for the past few days),

1. I've successfully managed to get nauseated (not nauseous as noted here) at varying intervals during the past few days. On Saturday I became nauseated at around 6PM. On Sunday it was closer to 4PM and today it was more like 1PM. No, I don't think I'm pregnant. Yes, I do take my pill on a regular basis at a regular timed interval.

2. I've found out that I'm officially finished with my M.Ed (Masters) in Human Sexuality Education. I'm still waiting for two classes to transfer, but that's all. My transcript from New Orleans is in, and it should be in my files any time now, and once it appears on my transcript, I'm officially done. I'll let you know if I'm graduating in May or August. I can tell you that it only took me 4.5 years.

3. The NY Times Magazine has a story about the War on Contraception. I have a copy, but haven't read it YET.

4. I rediscovered my love for fried ice cream.

5. I finally watched "The Incredibles." I think Sarah Vowell is cool.

6. I posted my latest piece on Souldish.

7. I joined with Moxie in the City to make you think about sex in the city.

Now, what have you been up to?

Blah. Blah. Sex.

The Beauty of Nature. I bought this at a fruit stand.

If you go to see one show in Williamsburg this May, make it this one. I can't say I know Mike Daisey personally, cause I don't, well, at least not yet, but I can say that we once exchanged some personal emails, and he happens to be, on May 19th, tapping into the brain of one of my great obsessions when it comes to scientists, and that's Nikola Tesla. I love knowing that Nikola Tesla loved pigeons. I don't know why I love knowing this, but I just do. Perhaps it's because it's oddly fascinating and eccletic.

Speaking of oddly fascinating, On June 17th, I'm going to be on a panel with Kathy Bates and a myriad of other highly talented women as part of Eve Ensler's V-Day movement. I'll keep you posted as details unfold.

Also, if you want to see the beautifully uncomfortable Stephen Colbert roast that everyone who's anyone ;) has been talking about, click here. (It will take you to the page that takes you there). I think you need a Real player to watch. Or go to iFilm.com. You can also find it there.

Now, lets talk about sex. Aahh, sex. Something we don't talk enough about on this blog right now. I just finished a piece on "the numbers game" and you can read it online tomorrow, I won't tell you where until then, although here's a glimpse of the site. It's interesting this numbers game, it makes you think about how important your partner's sexual past is. I mean they say that for every one person you've slept with, it's actually, what's the statistic?, I think "they" (as in the collective they) say it means you've actually slept with five other people. So then, even if you say 30 people to a partner, and that freaks him out, does it really mean you slept with 150 people in some way? And what is sex anyway? How do you define "sleeping with or sex?" My friend "Sasha" (names always changed to protect the less than innocent), says that she counts any person who has given her an orgasm as someone she's slept with. I kind of like that idea. It at least gives the what is sex number some good meaning.

Of course the past is the past, the present is now and the future is really beyond our control.

That being said, I think sometimes, if a partner asks, and they seem like they're going to be so totally jealous and confrontational if you tell them the truth, then it's okay to lie. I'm not saying I always think lying is the way to go, I'm just saying in extreme cases, it might not be a bad thing. Of course, if you have to lie to your partner because they care so much about your past sexual experiences, you might want to seriously rethink your relationship, but until you decide to dump this overprotective-for-no-good-reason person in your life, you might want to lie. But yeah, then you might want to also say bye (ah, poetry).

Speaking of poetry (well, not really, but it would be nice if it were), Jonny and me (Jonny being my manfriend, partner, or flova), we started a podcast. Now, I have it in MP3 form, and I don't know how to get it up on my site. Can anyone help? Please???!!!!! I wanna make it an RSS feed. What's a girl to do?

Jonny keeps telling me to turn off the computer

Not Jonny. This is Blue.

Jonny and I just did our first podcast. We're calling it Jamye and Jonny, a very unique, original name, yes I know. Only thing is I don't know the first thing about getting the podcast up on the site. I've emailed my webgal, hoping she can help, so now I must wait and see. I'm thinking of starting a whole new page on the site just for podcasting. It gives me my radio fix.

Jonny wants me to get off the computer. I want to too, but I also want to put up a blog today, because I've not said much these past few weeks. Soon I want to tell you all about my experience making adult erotica, which is different than porno, well at least that's what I've been told, and my book deal, and other things that have happened in the past few weeks. Looks like I'm finally graduating with my MASTERS in SEX EDUCATION, and if I don't get the diploma in May, it shall be in my hands by August. What a relief that is to be done with. And what a relief to feel officially legit. Yeah!

And, I've been talking with some of the most prestigious names in the sex industry, educationally speaking, these past few weeks, and I feel like I'm becoming one of them. Not prestigious perhaps, but sex educatory, more and more, day by day.

And then, of course, there's also my new association with Moxie, something I'm very excited about, because I'll be teaching more and more classes. Of course, it's only just begun, so lets see. But I'm going to be teaching basic blowjob classes to lots of new and interesting women. I'd also like to do more classes for men, I'm doing one in July at Sexy Spirits, but that's still a ways away.

Okay, now, computer off Jonny. I promise.

One Night Stands

I've been on a high horse about one night stands. Not that I've had any recently, cause I haven't, but I decided to revisit one I had long enough ago, but not that long ago, in terms of how long ago it could have been. Am I making sense here? Well, even if I'm not, I'm going to pretend that I am and continue. I wrote about it all week, and even have a post about it on Souldish, one that the Editor (full disclosure, he's also my boyfriend) decided to "edit" because of my use of the word sausage, and because it was not in the context of a kitchen.

Okay. So, this one night stand, after asking some friends to retell tales of their own "if only for an evening" escapades, reaffirmed for me just how much the whole experience sucked. I haven't had many one night stands that resulted in full blown sex, but this one, well it had. And it wasn't pretty, and DAD, if you're reading this Happy Birthday and please don't go looking to read any more on the subject, and anybody else, please ignore the message to my father, who's birthday happens to fall on the same day I post this.

I think the part that pissed me off the most was that this guy actually lived with his girlfriend, and that he probably still does because musician's hardly make enough to live on, and she sounded like she had a comfy deal on the Upper East Side, and he sounded like he was living large. And he tried to see me again, and if I had agreed then it wouldn't have been a one night stand I guess. But what grosses me out the most was how little he seemed to care about the woman he lived with, and how much more involved he was in trying to get in my pants.

Once I told him it would never happen, he feigned wanting a frienship. But we got over that one real fast. And now, once in a while he emails me something or other, but once in a while I don't respond, and that's that.

Oh, and I've podcasted about it on Playgirl. It's not up yet, but it will be up tomorrow.