jamYe waXman. seX matters.

Right Now

Me and Jonny. Not right now. But not that long ago either.

I feel it's my duty to blog, but only for a moment. For if I spend more than a moment blogging right now, I feel as if I'm taking myself away from the things that might actually further my career.

These things include:

1. My first book. I'm writing it now.

2. My first "How to Video" Proposal. I'm writing it now. I hope it will be accepted and I will shoot it almost right now.

3. My first article for a major woman's magazine. I'm writing it as soon as my editor gives me the go ahead. That could be almost right now, since right she's probably sleeping right now.

4. Another book proposal. I'm going to start working on it in a few weeks. This is potentially for a book that makes me so happy to think about, I could pee my pants. Not that I can't do that anyway. I mean it's really easy to pee yourself, especially for me, especially when I laugh or sneeze too hard. That's when it often just happens. Even though I practice my kegel exercises, sometimes I can't help it. But sometimes I can. One day I think I'm going to wear Depends undergarments, just to see how long I can pee myself without leaking. But that's not right now, that's another day, when it's not right now.

Bits and Pieces I've learned in the past 24 hours

No monkeying around here (see the monkey in the background? It belongs to this dog.)

1. My interview is up at Eros Zine, and I love it!!! Thanks Abby.

2. Does it take balls to draw balls? There's an artist named Belle Wether (who wants to bet me that that's not her real name) who's taken the term "big balls" to a whole new level. I mean a larger universe of sorts. Whoever thought testicular art could be so, well..hmm..how do I describe (NSFW) this... I kind of look at it like I looked at the Jim Rose Circus. In complete amazement and wonder, yet a bit turned off and disgusted, on the verge of puking at times. Personally, I love balls but I don't think I need to see them up close like this. Especially the saggy ones. Reminds me of a time when I used to get hit with a nut sac. Not because I was a bad girl or anything, just because his nut sac happened to hang that low. I don't think I need to be reminded about it again. At least not at this magnitude. So big, and so well done, and still at times, so ugly. But such is art.

3. There's a website for kinky Jews in New York. You don't have to be a Jew to join, but I guess it's suggested. As are lots of other kinky things...But what exactly is kinky these days anyway?

4. Men who go to a workshop on pleasing their woman are often already very knowledgeable in the art of getting her off. They just like to check in every once in a while and some of them say that women don't communicate like guys do. This is true (generally) but I'm not sure why. For some reason, it's much easier for a guy to say what he wants than it is for a woman, and I have my ideas about it, but I guess it could be anything. I definitely think that since our genitals are more internal, so are we. Needless to say, men who attend workshops are often already better lovers then men who don't.

5. ID's Pleasure Lube contains the amino acid L-Arginine, which is supposed to enhance things sexually. In this case, it supposedly promotes additional blood flow to the regions it’s used on..generally meaning the genitals. That's supposed to give you added pleasure. I don't buy it since I'm not a big fan of ID, but if anyone has tried it, let me know if it works. Now Pink, a really pretty and nice silicone lube, actually contains Vitamin E and aloe vera, and uses the highest grade silicone out there...which makes it the best kept secret in lube. And no, most silicone lubes won't stain the sheets once you wash them.

The Fake "O"

I've always been amused when a heterosexual man brags to me, or at least is extremely proud of the fact, that none of the women he's been with has ever faked an orgasm. I secretly smile when thinking about the fact that he thinks that in all the times he's had sex, each woman has been completely satisfied, orgasmic and honest with him. That he thinks of himself as one of the most talented and sexually gifted men in the world to have that special ability to know how to please each and every woman, every time he penetrates her.

And that's when I usually say:

FACT: Approximately 30% of women can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. The other 70% need some other sort of stimulation as well.

For a moment he, of course, thinks that what I'm saying is a load of bull doody, and that even if I spoke the truth, he's happened to beat the odds. But he's more (obviously) sensitive about his abilities to get her off, then admit that she's probably faked it. At least once. Somewhere down the road. And maybe it was with him.

Of course men can fake it too, although I think it's a bit harder (no pun intended). I mean if he's wearing a condom, he can do a couple of quick, hard thrusts, and then gently remove himself from the situation. There he quietly and discreetly slips the condom off of his partially erect penis, he wraps it in a tissue, and throws it in the garbage in the kitchen, making sure it's packed deep down in the bin, so even if his partner decides to go sifting through the garbage, odds are it won't be worth the discovery of what was really (not) there. But the fact that there's often tangible, physical evidence when he comes makes it a bit riskier to fake it. But still, like I said, men do fake it. It's just probably not as often as women do.

I don't know what percentage of women fake it, or how often, but I do know the general reasons why we do it. It's because we're tired, sore or just not that in to it, and knowing that once we get off, you'll be more turned on to get off, or just plain finish up already, makes us hurry up and (not really) come. And it's much easier for us to fake it. I mean our orgasms are a series of contractions, you can't always feel them. Of course a man's contractions can be the same way too I suppose. And we don't always, or often, depending on the woman, secrete something special when we're finished.

Of course, as I type this, I'm sure my lovers, past and present, are sitting here going, "I know she never faked an orgasm with me," because y'know the ego is a terrible thing to break.

And my answer to all those men:

FICTION: No, of course not.

I haven't faked an orgasm with every guy, but I've faked an orgasm as least a few times. It's not that the sex doesn't feel good, it's just that sometimes I have things to do or places to be. And for me, coming isn't everything.

FACT: Men take approximately 2-5 minutes to orgasm from penetration. Women take approximately 20 minutes to achieve an orgasm through penetration.

But for a lot of people it's all about the orgasm. So when someone fakes it, it's a blow to their ego and their sexuality. But it shouldn't be. I promise, this time, I'm not faking.

I'm teaching in New York tomorrow night, one class for women and one class for men. Interested in attending? Find out more at Moxie in the City.

The Jealous One

Does this look like the face of jealousy?

I'm writing a column on jealousy to deal with some emotional baggage I've yet to get over. It's strange, I can say that I don't remember being a jealous person, which of course doesn't mean I've never gotten jealous, but I don't really rememeber experiencing jealousy in terms of being in a relationship. I think it's because I've always been in unhealthy or undefined relationships, the kind where we'd fight, or we couldn't commit, or it just didn't matter, and I've always known that this was part of my learning process, my training, and that it wasn't going to be the relationship I'd want for a mighty long time. And then, one day I found myself in that relationship (the one I'd want, just to clarify).

And all of a sudden I've become the person I promised I'd never be. At times I'm the kind of girlfriend who I used to look at as pathetic. The kind who doesn't trust her boyfriend, which actually isn't the case, I trust him whole heartedly, but for some reason I don't trust other women around him (mostly women I don't know) and because I see him as a totally open hearted and generous, not to mention really handsome, kind of guy, I'm jealous of the fact that I may find him in a compromising position with someone he likes better than me.

Okay, now before I sound even more childlish than I must already sound, I will also say that it's okay if he finds someone he wants more, I mean, it would mean the end of the relationship, but we are, after all, only human, and regardless of if we are in this relationship or not, I can't stop him from having human emotions and feelings. I'm still not convinced that monogamy works, so if we talk about expanding our horizons within the relationship, how can I continue to get jealous?

I think it's my own esteem issues really.

Okay, I know what it stems from. It stems from me not being able to get over how things started between us. From a time and place when he never thought it would get this far. And he said a lot of things that implied it would never get this far. And we've had a more difficult time than either of us has ever had connecting physically, although I'm happy to report that as our trust has built, the sex has become so much more than I ever thought it could be. And as our trust has built, I continuilly come around and knock over all the building blocks, which of course, and logically, forces us to rebuild again. And rebuilding isn't any fun, and it isn't worthwhile, or even fulfilling, so what's up with me?

I think just writing about it makes me understand things better. And spilling my guts, figuratively as opposed to literally since it would be kind of gross to be sitting at this coffee shop with blood and guts oozing out all over the place, makes me see things with with a bit more clarity, and less of the jealousy haze that I've recently been experiencing. And sometimes I hate myself for feeling this way in this relationship, especially when I meet such cool people, like Lex and Les of Nakedloftparty who obviously love each other, and still know how to share.

And then I think, will I ever be that enlightened? Am I all talk? And I know that I'm the only one who can decide what I am. So, I'm getting ready to take a blunt object and stab the green-eyed monster right where it hurts. Because this other shit hurts me, and him, and our relationship too much. And I'm not going to destroy a good thing. At least not now.

Off to Philly

My advice for today. Don't mess with the Hulk.

Enjoy. It's the longest day of the year. And the first day of Summer. If I wasn't off to Philly, I'd probably be doing some hippy dippy thing in some park somewhere...

In other news:
My next podcast is up here. Basically it's a long ramble on marriage.

I'm teaching a class at Bourbon Blue on Rector St. in Philadelphia tonight. It's for ladies only, so, if you're a lady...lets talk about going from suck to blow together. Sign up here..It's not too late.

Rape in New York

If you happened to miss this small op-ed in the NY Times yesterday, I am going to paste it here. It was tucked away on a page that I often overlook. The title caught my attention. So highly fucked up and more than mildly disturbing.

June 18, 2006
Op-Ed Contributor
New York's Crime Against Women
By SONIA OSSORIO

IN the fall of 1992, a woman was in her apartment on West 16th Street in New York City when her boyfriend walked in with a gun pointed at him. The gunman had pistol-whipped him in the vestibule and taken his keys.

Once in the apartment, he forced the woman to go around collecting money and jewelry. Forcing her boyfriend to watch, the gunman then raped her twice.

Today the Manhattan district attorney's office knows the attacker's identity. After the Manhattan assault, he raped a woman in Queens and was convicted of a felony. Because of that, his DNA was entered in the databank and a match was made to the Chelsea attack.

But the rapist is now out on the streets, having already served his jail time for the Queens conviction. He will never spend a day in prison for the brutal Chelsea attack.

Why? Because in New York, there is a statute of limitations on rape. If a rapist is not indicted within five years, he cannot be prosecuted, no matter how overwhelming the proof of guilt.

If you're surprised to hear this, you're not alone. Many people have no idea that there is a statute of limitations on rape in our state. New York's time-limitation on rape prosecution is one of the shortest in the nation; only Florida, North Dakota and Utah have shorter time limits. Almost half of all states have eliminated any statute of limitations for rape in the first degree, or forcible rape or sex with a child 12 years old or younger or a person who is physically helpless. Nearly a dozen of these states have no statute of limitations for any rape.

The good news is that both the State Assembly and the Senate have passed legislation that would eliminate the five-year limit. The bad news is that now the details of the two bills need to be hashed out in conference.

Sheldon Silver, the Assembly speaker, wants to include a provision in the bill that would revoke not just the five-year limit on prosecution, but also the time restraint for civil lawsuits. The Senate, which tends to be averse to any extension of statute for tort claims, is unlikely to agree to that provision. And with Albany scheduled to recess this week, little time remains for them to act.

New Yorkers should be outraged by this inability to compromise. This is a calamity for the victims of the 350 rapists who have been identified by DNA but cannot be prosecuted because of the statute of limitations.

There's no question that New York is lagging when it comes to recognizing the need for stronger rape laws. According to the United States Department of Justice, a woman is raped in the United States every 2.5 minutes. Changing this outdated law is a matter of public safety.

In New York State, rape is one of the few categories of crime that have not seen a significant drop. From 1994 to 2004, murder declined 56 percent and robbery dropped 61 percent, but rape decreased only 23 percent. And in some areas, rape is on the rise. For instance, the precinct covering the Lower East Side of Manhattan has seen a 40 percent increase in rapes from 2001 to 2005, according to the New York Police Department.

In New York, murder, first-degree arson, first-degree kidnapping and first- and second-degree drug sale and possession have no statute of limitations, so why does first-degree rape? Rape is certainly as serious a crime as arson and kidnapping and arguably more serious than selling or possessing drugs. Indeed, it is a crime that can permanently devastate the life of the victim.

Before the Senate and the Assembly adjourn on Thursday, they need to set aside their differences and come to an agreement. While being able to sue can help some rape survivors, civil lawsuits do not keep rapists off the streets.

The fight over civil lawsuits is not worth risking the death of this bill, which will make New York a safer place for women rather than the best place in the Northeast for sexual predators to call home. The idea of someone getting away with rape — out there finding more victims — is simply not acceptable.

Sonia Ossorio is the president of New York City chapter of the National Organization for Women.

I wanted to write a nice, light, funny blog about how much sex I'm having these days (a lot) but instead, I read this and feel the need to share a much more important and disgusting issue (although I'm sure my family who reads this blog would find details about my sex life mildly disgusting as well), but regardless, that's not the point today. Yes, I know this is a New York thing, and yes, it seems like New York is more than slightly behind its time when it comes to rape, but in what should be one of the most progressive cities in the world, this is absolutely outrageous.

Let's reiterate..."In New York, murder, first-degree arson, first-degree kidnapping and first- and second-degree drug sale and possession have no statute of limitations, so why does first-degree rape?" I kind of think, now call me crazy here, that rape is a bit more violent and unplanned than say, buying or selling drugs. People have a choice when it comes to using or dealing. Most women, and men, because yes, men can get raped, don't have a choice in the matter when it comes to being violently penetrated or assaulted. So why is drug dealing and drug using getting more "time" so to speak, then rape? I just don't get this. A man can't get convicted of rape, because five years have passed, so now we must wipe the slate clean. What the fuck is wrong with this picture...Bueller, Bueller, anybody out there?????

It just makes me think about equality. And I say this because most of the victims of rape are women. Is the violation of a woman's body less important after five years? If more men than women got raped, would things already be different? And why does a perpetrator have to go out and rape again in order to be recognized by the courts? This makes me wish all rapists were convicted drug dealers. At least then they could be held accountable for their actions more than five years after the fact. But if it's just rape it doesn't count.

Womens voices and feelings count. Always. After five years the memories of a rape don't just suddenly go bye bye. So why should a rapist get away with forced sexual violence after such a short period of time? It takes the government more than five years to find a lot of other criminals, so why, in New York is rape the exception?

Somebody please explain this to me. I just can't figure this one out. Anybody out there stupid enough to understand? Please. Help.

The Philadelphia City Paper

Wrote this about me.

Now..onto other things..

I'm still not done checking emails from my trip to Missouri. It's so strange how five days without the Internet can cost you more time in catch up than your actual vacation. And to make matters worse, I can't put down the Da Vinci Code. Yes, I know, I'm like 3 years behind, but it didn't interest me until I picked it up, and that was only on Saturday. And now, like I said, I'm addicted, and 150 pages from finished.

And tomorrow night I'm teaching a class. Read all about it here.

Now I have to get back to here. (Just checking if you're clicking on the links).

Pinch Me

Yes. I just got back. Had to post this. I'm so excited, and I'm so much more than just a writer for one magazine. Wouldn't you agree?

NEW YORK, NY - June 13th, 2006 - On Saturday, June 17th, at 12:30 PM Eve Ensler will introduce the Women and Media Responsibility Panel as part of a 3-day event in connection with her V-Day festival, UNTIL THE VIOLENCE STOPS. The panel will discuss important issues impacting women in filmmaking such as whether women working in media are mandated to tell certain stories, or whether art should really be just about art. Panel participants include Academy Award Winning actress Kathy Bates, Monster¹s Ball producer Lisa Cortes of Lee Daniels Entertainment, President and CEO of the Museum of Television & Radio Pat Mitchell (formerly PBS President & CEO), Executive Director of Women Make Movies Debra Zimmerman, Program Director of HBO¹s Young Filmmaker¹s Lab Stephanie Walters-Williams, Film & Television Producer Linda Gottlieb, Co-founder of Feminists for Free Expression & women¹s erotica pioneer Candida Royalle, Playgirl Magazine writer Jamye Waxman, and LaSalle -Holland Managment Production principal Lillian LaSalle. Abiola Abrams, an emerging filmmaker who has hosted shows for HBO & NBC will moderate the discussion and Prudence Heyert, an actress who recently starred in M. Night Shyamalan's filmic Oscar© night commercial, will field audience questions.

As a community based event in connection with V-Day¹s festival Until the Violence Stops: NYC, Abiola Abrams and Prudence Heyert will co-direct and curate Until the Violence Stops: NYC Women¹s Film Festival. A 3-day event from June 16th-18th at The Museum of the City of New York and The Museum of Television & Radio, the fest has been billed as "the film festival for vagina warriors." Their mission is to aid in stopping violence against women and girls worldwide by showcasing diverse films and programs­ documentaries, narratives, comedies and dramas, that empower women or increase awareness of violence. This film festival is presented in association with The Guerrilla Girls, HBO¹s Young Filmmaker¹s Lab, Tribeca Film Festival, LUNAFEST, Women Make Movies, The Museum of the City of New York and The Museum of Television & Radio; and features a panel with such luminaries as Hollywood actress Kathy Bates.

For two weeks in June, UNTIL THE VIOLENCE STOPS: NYC will take over the city, putting women, their empowerment and their safety on center stage in our culture and community. Produced by V-Day, the festival will feature marquee events with performances by celebrated actors, original works by noted authors, community events throughout the five boroughs, a citywide messaging campaign, and a run through Prospect Park. UNTIL THE VIOLENCE STOPS: NYC will issue a call to action to all New Yorkers, and to the world: Demand an end to violence against women and girls and become an active participant in ending it.

The UTVS: NYC Women¹s Film Festival opens on Friday June 16th, 2006 6-9pm at The Museum of the City of New York. Playwright, performer, and Obie© winning activist Eve Ensler introduces her compelling film What I Want My Words to Do to You (2003), an honest window into the hearts of the women inmates of New York's Bedford Hills Correctional Facility. Directed by Madeleine Gavin, Judith Katz and Gary Sunshine, the film features Ensler, Glenn Close, Marisa Tomei, Rosie Perez, Mary Alice and Hazelle Goodman. The film will be
followed by a Q&A with Eve Ensler and participants in the workshop and film.

On Saturday June 17th the film festival continues at The Museum of the City of NY from 10:30am to 6pm. From 11am to 12pm award-winning urban teen female filmmakers of the HBO Young Filmmaker¹s Lab introduce their films examining compelling self-esteem related topics. A brief Q&A with these young filmmakers will follow.

An important objective of the film festival is to encourage new socially-conscious media-making and so at noon LUNA®, the Whole Nutrition Bar for Women�, will sponsor The Midday Business Card Kick It Spot, a designated networking time. LUNA® also presents LUNAFEST, a series of short films by, for and about women. Onscreen during the LUNA® Networking Half Hour will be powerful images created by feminist activists The Guerrilla Girls, who aim to expose sexism, in art, film and pop culture with facts, humor and outrageous visuals, in addition to work by multimedia artist Cece Wheeler.

At 12:30pm Eve Ensler will introduce the Women and Media Responsibility
Panel. The screening of films beginning at 2pm includes official selections from The Tribeca Film Festival, Women Make Movies and LUNAFEST in addition to compelling general submissions. Themes explored include feminism, body image, the beauty myth, sexuality, domesticity, honor killings, female genital mutilation, mother-daughter issues, domestic violence, politics, rape and race. As young women who create media Abrams and Heyert are proud to showcase the work of 99% female directors and "one incredible male vagina warrior." Selected films and filmmakers will be posted at www.thegoddessfactory.com .

On Father¹s Day, Sunday June 18th, the film festival continues at The Museum of Television & Radio. After a small half hour reception at 1pm, the Museum will show episodes from The Simpsons, The Cosby Show, and Picket Fences that feature various father/daughter issues. The festival will then close with a 3pm screening of Until the Violence Stops (2003) introduced by Eve Ensler. This Emmy Award­winning documentary follows the grassroots impact of V-Day, an international movement to end violence against women and girls that grew out of Ensler's play, The Vagina Monologues. The film features Ensler, Rosario Dawson, Jane Fonda, Salma Hayek, Rosie Perez, and Isabella Rossellini. Directed by Abby Epstein; 2004 V-Day Productions.

Abrams and Heyert have met with resistance regarding language around the festival. "Among young women Œfeminist¹ is still very much interpreted as a pejorative ¹f-word.¹ In addition, some are also wary of the term "vagina warrior" which V-Day defines as a woman or man committed to stopping violence against women and girls." Heyert and Abrams do not want to tell people how to think, only to think.

"We hope that this explosion of film and discussion inspires other women to continue to tell our stories. We demand that women everywhere ­and we are 51% of the global population - recognize our incredible strength and stand up against violence NOW. Onward!" The film festival has even set up a myspace page to encourage youth participation and awareness. The film festival was created by emerging women who work in media including actress Carly Robins, the festival¹s Project Manager, and Swaziland Peace Core alumna Lisa Grossman, Director of Operations.

The Museum of the City of New York is located at 1220 Fifth Avenue NY, NY 10029; (212) 534.1672; www.mcny.org. The Museum of Television & Radio is located at 25 West 52 Street New York, NY 10019; (212) 621.6800; www.mtr.org. General Seating. Standard museum admission / donation fees apply.

Please read more about the Until the Violence Stops: NYC Woman¹s Film Festival at www.vday.org and www.thegoddessfactory.com.

Goings On as I get Goings Out

Me. In Tulum, Mexico. Last week. Can you spot the iguanas? (hint: there are two, and one is leaving the picture)

In keeping you updated on my friends, I insist you check out this new site for the fabulous Kate Bornstein, and her incredibly important new book Hello Cruel World.

Also, if you've ever wanted to do "porn," and I'm talking about breakthrough bisexual porn, you should check out this casting call, and then contact Audacia Ray through her website here:

I am still casting performers for the movie. A clean AIM test is required, condoms will be used, and I am (rather unfortunately) not able to cast an excessively "alternative" looking people - no funny hair, loads of tattoos or genderqueerness. I am casting for the following roles:

Lead girl: I need a woman with some acting ability who can play a researcher who is slowly discovering her voyeuristic self. This is the main character and will need to be on set for three days and be present for all five sex scenes, plus shoot some non-sex and b-roll footage. She will do some light solo scene/voyeur stuff in three scenes, a girl/girl scene, and a bisexual boy/boy/girl that is the culminating scene of the movie. I would like to find a woman who is into bisexual men and knows how to use a strap-on.

Straight Girl – for a pretty straight forward boy/girl scene, oral and vaginal, anal is optional.

Straight Boy - for a pretty straight forward boy/girl scene, oral and vaginal, anal is possible

- I would love to have a real life couple for these roles, but it isn’t essential

Gay Boy Top – For a boy/boy scene with handjobs, blowjobs both ways, and anal. Must be comfortable with having a female voyeur as part of the scene, but there will be no contact with her.

Gay Boy Bottom - For a boy/boy scene with handjobs, blowjobs both ways, and receptive anal. Must be comfortable with having a female voyeur as part of the scene, but there will be no contact with her.

Bi Boy Top – Must be capable of directing a scene, topping a boy and helping a girl top the boy, and then turning attention on the woman. Expected to do oral (both ways) and anal (active) on the boy and oral (both ways), vaginal and possibly anal (maybe DP) on the girl.

Bi Boy Switch – The bottom will be expected to take it in the ass from both a male top and a girl wearing a strap on. Must be switchable enough to then assist the other guy in topping the girl. Double penetration on the girl is also a possibility. Both men will have oral and vaginal and possibly anal sex with the woman in the scene.

If you're serious you should seriously think about this experience. Audacia Ray is one awesome and smart woman, and I think it's a fantastic opportunity for the right person/people.

Now, for me, I fly out of town, not personally, rather on an airplane, tomorrow morning at 7AM. I'm going to see my boyfriend's (this is his site) family, to watch his parents renew their wedding vows 40 years later. I have to admit, although I never thought I'd visit Missouri ever, and now I'm going on my second trip, that it's not such a bad place to visit. Well, I mean, it is, it's not a destination vacation hot spot, but I do like feeling like part of his family. They like to laugh. They know how to experience tremendous joy. And they like to drink and eat. Who can't enjoy that? Even if it is in Missouri.

I probably won't post for almost a week. But I'm told I might karoake. Hey after dancing on a stripper pole for like an hour the other week, anything is possible. I mean what else do you do in Missouri? Okay, yes, hopefully have lots of sex, but other than that, c'mon now.

The Gnome's oral adventures

Yes. Kitty made it with the Gnome. The Gnome was into oral, and he liked to use his tongue to satisfy the world, so after he was done with Kitty, he made it with a Boobah (and yes, this Boobah made it with him too)..

Unfortunately, he had a tragic port-a-potty accident not long after this picture was taken, and he lost his little brain, and part of his left eye. And now he doesn't function the same way he used to. In fact, his mouth no longer opens, as we can see by his attempt to suck water through a straw (the attempt was not successful).

Kitty Caboose hits the road

Kitty Caboose. My Superhero Persona. When I return I've got a pic of Kitty getting naughty with a gnome...

I will be without Internet access until Wednesday and I am looking forward to the loss of connection. I will be without cellphone service until Wednesday, and I'm looking forward to having to maintain contact in other ways. I won't be in New York again until next Wednesday, and I'm looking forward to crystal white beaches and family gatherings. There's something about a destination wedding that really brings out the fun side of any family. It could be weddings in general, but I think it's destination weddings in particular. It's like you get transplanted to a place and it's all about love and union and happiness, which are not the kind of story's you'll find at the top of the six o'clock news.

I've been trying to catch up on some of my erotic reading, and right now, I'm thoroughly enjoying "Naughty Spanking: Stories from A to Z" edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Rachel, if you read this, how do I make it onto your blogroll, and if you don't, oh well, never mind), and published by Pretty Things Press.

There's this one story, it's called "Just a Spanking," by the delightfully kinky, and talented, Thomas S. Roche, that gets me so hot. All I can say is Yowser. I mean YOWSER. Makes me want to go out and buy new thongs. And play new games. And walk around as Kitty Caboose a lot more often.

You can hear me reading the story here (be patient, it won't be up until Thursday night)...but first you'll have to listen to me ramble for three or four minutes. What can I say, it's my specialty.

And now, I must pack and haul my ass out of here.

Talk to you again, some time next week.