So last week: I graduated from SFSI. A lonely panda. My friend Kate‘s sculpture is up in Hayes Valley.

• “This is truly a human right: the right to happiness.” Argentina’s new gender identity law says be the gender you want to be. (Feministing)
• Obama’s same sex marriage stance sends conservative panties into a bunch. (WashPost)
• Tennessee tries to ban gateway sex. (ABCNews)
• The playa case, for those who want protection from their cell phone. (Brit.co)
• RIP Shannon Collins. A senseless murder of a wonderful woman and sex positive shop owner. Support Camouflage if you can. (SantaCruzSentinel)
• 70 year-old virgin finally ready for baum-chick-uh-baum-baum. (Dailymail)
• More sex please, we’re British. (HuffPo)
• 10 mistakes people make to destroy their sex lives. My favorite two, letting themselves go and devaluing or inflating the importance of sex. So true. So true. (ivillage.ca)
• Is sexual training only a US thing? Keep spreading the love. (yahoo.uk)
• Is masturbation boring? Try something new. (GoodVibesBlog)
• After porn ends, a new mainstream documentary on the life of former and future “civilians.” (Xbiz)

me and ian. ian and alicia.

I realize that the title of my latest podcast (a podcast that consists of me talking with myself and then skyping with my friend and fellow podcast maker, Ian Denchasy) is totally unsexy to a lot of people. It’s called Marriage, Love, Babies and Mating. And even though I want these things – although marriage I can live without, unless it’s understood to be a business – I’m not a big fan of the title. But I’m lazy today so, it’s staying. (Actually, I’m not lazy, I just don’t care that much).  I think Ian’s views on marriage are really interesting. And after having been married 23 plus years, the best part of this podcast is what he has to say. So listen for that, and forgive me and my unsexy title.

Listen on my site here or via itunes.

• To predict dating success, the secret’s in the pronouns. (NPR)
• Vice President Joe Biden supports marriage equality on Meet the Press. (Advocate)
• Quiet down vaginas, the boners are talking. A humorous (and serious) look at the contrast in urgency between curing male sexual dysfunction and helping women have more satisfying sexual experiences. (Jezebel)
• The origins of sex. A book and oh, so much more. (NYT)
• Arizona bans funding of planned parenthood. (CNN)
• A transgender woman murdered in Oakland and nobody makes a peep. (DailyKos)
• The flip out over Dan Savage and the bible and what’s really uncomfortable about the whole debacle. (Slate)
• On the other side of Savage love — is Dan Savage the Gay Santorum? (DailyBeast)
• 10 Lessons about the female orgasm via @mysexprofessor (Mens Health).
• Porn panic: A snarky piece on adult entertainment that asks the question, “What about vaginas, or penises? Teenage children have these things so presumably aren’t particularly traumatized by just seeing them. Is it the insertion of the penis into the vagina that causes the harm, or is it the love and care with which the insertion occurs?” (Guardian)
• Republicans — get in my vagina. #GOPVagina (Funnyordie)

• One doctor cuts up a dead cadaver woman and declares, hark! the G-spot, it exists! (LATimes)
• Oopsie. An Irish priest accidentally shares a gay porn presentation with parents of grade-schoolers. (Jezebel)
• The real war on women in the Middle East. (ForeignPolicy)
• Should sex educators teach good sex? (TheStar)
• Sexual adventures or spy games. What really happened to the spy in the duffel bag? (NYT)
• A dating site for attractive people who don’t have the money but want to travel. OMG, WOW. (SFGate)
• The hardest thing about being a male porn star. (Forbes)
• Pink is for girls, blue is for boys and 4 other gender stereotypes that used to be the exact opposite. (Cracked)
• Hugvie. A vibrating pillow for more than just loneliness. (MSNBC)
• How TV lied about sex and bar tabs. (XOJane)
• I love sex, but that doesn’t make me easy. (YourTango)

When it comes to online dating, Editrix Abby Ehmann (who I affectionately coined Cunty Aunt Abby this morning) tells it like it is. In this week’s Hot Sox podcast, you’ll laugh with us (or at us) about dating do’s, don’ts and downers. Abby’s been actively doing the dating deed on OK Cupid for over a year now, and she’s been blogging her trials and tribulations of dates gone, or almost gone on, on her wonderful bloggedy blog. Today she joins me to discuss the hilarity of online dating. Plus pheromone parties, sploshing and the importance of good teeth.

Listen to the podcast on my site or via itunes.

• “Research shows that one in six boys is sexually abused before his 18th birthday.” Sexual abuse survivors start to speak out. (ThePlainDealer)
• Research and educators encourage more sex in Hong Kong. (NYDailyNews)
• How robotic prostitutes would change the sex tourism industry. Thanks GoodVibes. (io9)
• Steve Harvey discusses what men and women think about love. (WashPost)
• Condoms as evidence in prostitution endangers public health. Go Audacia Ray! (Ms.)
• Columbians, prostitution and the Secret Service sex scandal. (BostonHerald)
• Harvard sex week. Female orgasm, dirty talk and more. (DailyBeast)
• 50 shades of Grey is helping to sell more than just books. (LATimes)
• Sex-mad German Vegans unite. We have your sex toys. (Joe.ie)
• File under state of sad: Women go on feeding tubes to lose weight in time for their wedding. Kill…me…now. (Nerve)

In this week’s Hot Sox Podcast, I’m joined by former pornographic actor Darren James. In 2004, James was diagnosed with HIV while working as talent in the adult industry. By the time he received his results (pseudo-mandatory STI testing in the adult industry is/was only every 30 days and HIV can live in your body up to 6 months before saying hey) he infected three other women. James spoke with me about paying taxes, contracting HIV, penis size, the key to shooting large loads, the military, racism and dating in the industry, STD’s, civilians, big butts and why condoms should be used in porn.

Listen on my site or via itunes.

• Why Ashley Judd should be everyone’s new favorite actress. (DailyBeast)
• Sweden plans to go from gender-equal to gender-neutral. How do all the hen’s feel? (Slate)
• Living alone. Choice or conflict? (TheNewYorker)
• Meet SB 3310, a bill in Tennessee that defines holding hands and kissing as “gateway sexual activities.” (ThinkProgress)
• As Democrats build momentum, Obama is urged to give his blessing to same-sex marriage. (LATimes)
• In India, her vagina is a brown and white issue. (Jezebel)
• Sexual prudery is so last century. (Alternet)
• Sexism thrives in the streets of Europe. (BBC)
• Porn stars dig Rick Santorum. (Alternet)
• HBO unveils it’s newest Sex and the City and it’s called Girls. (E!)

cupcake photo: Trophy Cupcakes

This week’s Hot Sox Podcast is about erotica, bisexuality, hotel sex, wedding registries, babies, spanking, hoarding, Steve Jobs, Monica Lewinsky, cupcakes and anything else I could cram into one hour of hot sox. After spending a few days with Rachel Kramer Bussel in my new home in San Francisco, I can attest to the fact that it’s easy fall in love with Rachel and her writing. For starters, she’s super smart and sort of shy. She’s also a giver – the huge heart kind – and sweet-o-licious, like the cupcakes that she so generously dishes out to friends and fans alike.

On top of that, she’s one heck of a prolific erotic writer. At the end of this year, she’ll have edited 50 erotica anthologies, and she’s got a head full of ideas to boot (I’m exhausted just thinking about it). While you own’t be exhausted listening to us chat about our lives – both our sex and our singlehood – you may become inspired. So buy her latest compilations – Best Sex Writing 2012 and Curvy Girls and pre-order her newest hotel sex anthology, Suite Encounters, and Going Down: Oral Sex Stories.

Listen to the podcast via itunes or on my site and visit Rachel’s blog too.

my so last week, in pictures. My favorite photo ever of a cat I’ve loved. The clouds meet the Golden Gate Bridge. This reminds me of my former microcar. Ask, and I’ll tell you…

• Reframing birth control as pregnancy control. (HuffPo)
• Caring, romantic American boys may value sex more. (NYT)
• “Internet, this is what you’ve created.” Meet Hunter Moore. Revenge-porn profiteer and prick. (VillageVoice)
• Women objectify women in music videos too. (LATimes)
• More Fifty Shades of Grey inspired erotic talk. This time with my friend, Rachel Kramer Bussel. (USAToday)
• Cashed strapped couples are staying in and spending more..on sex. (DailyMail)
• I want to see the research on this one: A list of cities that value sex most, and least.  (SFGate)
• 38 years of self-love and laughter. An interview with Betty Dodson. (Salon)
• Sex ed is becoming less prevalent in grades 6-12. (WebMD)
• Guys read Judy Blume too. (Jezebel)
• Is your bedroom becoming a bored-room? (FreddyandEddy)