Vulva products that aren’t better than the real thing, but eerily close.
Vulva Original, as if you’re vulva wasn’t original enough. After many years of testing and research, and a finely tuned preservation procedure, the fine folks at vivaeros have captured the “sought after organic vaginal scent with a long lasting effect.” Not to be used in your vagina, to be worn like perfume, on the back of the hand so that you can sniff pussy all the time without having to get in anybody’s pants. Question is, who’s vulva are you smelling for 24.90 euro’s?
Vulva candles. For those scorned, burned or looking for love and light, meet the genital wax family. There are penis candle too.
Vulva Portrait Pendant. Sort of like wearing your heart on your sleeve, only it’s wearing your vulva around your neck. After purchasing one of these pendants, you send two to three pictures of your box to the artist and a replica is devised. Then you can wear your mini-me and be constantly reminded of what a pussy you really are. If you’re not comfortable sending pics, you can always describe your vulva to the artist (somehow that feels slightly more creepy) or otherwise settle for one of the pre-made “beautiful flesh-toned Vulva pendants.”
Posted in seX matters by jamye on 03/16/2010 - 6:13am
It’s so last week .21, and the old news just keeps getting older, just like we do.
Sharon Osbourne tells us how she keeps it hot with Ozzy. “How do we spice it up in the bedroom? Lots of sex toys. Spray cream around the b*llocks. Chocolate sauce on the kn*b. Lick, lick, lick.” (DigitalSpy)
“You’ve been a very bad girl.” Lady Gaga and Beyonce make video porn. (Youtube)
Sex lives stay active as long as you do too. (TimesOnlineUK)
Egg Donation for sale. Well, for the price of a raffle ticket. (CarnalNation)
DC gets down with gay marriage. Yippee! (WashingtonPost)
20 fetishes that will either freak you out or help you get your freak on. Just ignore all the obnoxious subjective reporting that goes with this piece and you can learn a thing or two. (AMOG)
Posted in seX matters by jamye on 03/15/2010 - 2:22pm
What a dull title for a post, I know, and this post is going to be rather slow for those looking for pictures of hot sex (although how often do I post those kinds of pics anyway?) but I’m back in NYC for a few days – a quick trip that includes business meetings and time with friends and their new babies – and one of the things I try to do when I’m here presently, is clean out more of my past. While digging through my drawers at home I found a poem I transcribed when I was in high school. Something about it struck me then, and I wrote it in marker, black and rainbow color, on a piece of white 8 1/2 by 11 inch paper, taking a lot of time to make it look nice. While I had the author as anon, a google search brought up the name Veronica Shoffstall.I’m retyping it here, because I still find huge meaning in the words. It reminds me, as I’m on the brink of reconnecting with past loves, that no matter what ends, there’s always something ready to begin.
Three of tonight’s panelists: Candida Royalle, Nina Hartley and me!
Tonight I’ll be at the Pleasure Chest in LA (7PM) on a panel with some of my favorite women who work in the sexy sorts of filmmage (not a real word perhaps, but go with it, okay?)
Jane Hamilton had to pull out at the last minute – yes, ye olde withdrawal method – and in her place we’ve been blessed with another gifted filmmaker, one who’s leanings are slanted towards the east, even if she lives out west.
Today, I’ve decided to share something with you about each of the panelists. Something that I love about each of these women and a reason why, when creating this panel, they were who I wanted for the sake of contribution. I think this panel could have had Dana DeArmond and Joanna Angel on it too, since they’re both cool women making porn here in LA, but alas, or until next time…
Darth Vader’s not “up” for any awards this year. Downer.
With the Oscars only days away, and with this being my first experience of living in LA and actually having to deal with Oscar traffic in the middle of the day, and because I was reminded by the ever thorough and on-topic sex educator and researcher Cory Silverberg at about.com that this is the biggest movie week in Holly-wood, I’ve decided to share (yet again) two of my favorite sex scenes on film, one of which is already old enough that John Cusack’s about to star in a movie that brings him back to the 80s, where Revenge of the Nerds take place only two years prior to the year of “hot tub time machine” travel. And neither of these scenes has likely been nominated for anything other than corny goodness, but still, I do love them.
Okay, that was the longest sentence ever…
The first one is the Darth Vader/Cheerleader Moon-Bounce sex scene in the original Revenge of the Nerds. That’s the scene between nerd Louis and super sorority chick Betty. They get it on because Betty thinks that Louis is her boyfriend Stan. Afterwards she decides, and we cheer, that he’s better than Stan. I love that he doesn’t take his mask off for a while and the scene leaves the really hot stuff to our imagination. At the tender age of 10, that’s how old I was when the movie came out, that scene turned me on big time. It was the kind of sex I one day wanted to have, and still actually want to have. I think next time I’m in love I’m going to rent a moon bounce.
That’s “protect yourself” en francais, and this is a condom ad that you’ll never see on television in the U.S. of A.
And YES, it’s best to cover one’s willy with a latex or polyurethane “raincoat,” however, when you’re doing it with a myriad of faceless fucks, you’ll need more than one condom, one for each vagina (or bum), which, sadly, you don’t learn dick about from this video.
Posted in seX matters by jamye on 03/2/2010 - 6:14am
So Last Week is some of last week’s sex and relationship news delivered fresh and hot to your door, late, but not that late. Read on if you missed stories about marketing small condoms, or the one about smarter men are the guys with only one partner. I hadn’t read any of these stories before I posted them this week. So, last week’s news anyone?
I just finished shooting what should be a fun educational video for the new glove harness, La Palma, from SpareParts HardWear. It’s a cool project, one I don’t think I can disclose anything about until the video is done, but the fact that a sex toy company is dealing with one of my biggest pet peeves, which is lack of instructional materials when it comes to what comes with sex toys, this makes me super happy. However, the production itself was a little stressful. For starters, I was afraid I’d have a lot to memorize, but that fear was eradicated with the help of my new favorite website, cueprompter.
However, once we got on set, the makeup artist, who is also about to become a porn star (ya gotta love LA) made my eyes so black that I looked like I had just lost a fight after 36 hours without sleep. When I asked her to remove the excess darkness, or what I am now referring to the ring-o-not-so-rosy-around-the-eyes, she did so by placing lotion on a Q-tip and then proceeded to put that in my eyes! IN MY EYES! Like seriously, the lotion touched the actual whites of my eyes. I was so afraid of the redness that would ensue, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to keep my contacts in, and I had no glasses with me. My eyes hurt all day. They were tired. Slightly blurry and heavy. The girl was nice, but really, who puts scented lotion in someone’s eyes?! It took me a moment to realize what was happening, I was so shocked that I didn’t do anything at first. And finally I said something fairly obvious. I asked “did you just put lotion in my eyes?” When she said yes, I told her I don’t think you should do that. I mean, I thought that was common sense, but maybe I’m just picky. I don’t think I’ll be letting her near my eyes again. Ever.
It was late and I was way tired, but before I wiped off my makeup and undid my hair from the day’s SpareParts HardWear shoot, I decided to make this short video. I mean I sort of looked like one of the toys on my desk (a toy that’s not a sex toy and that doesn’t vibrate) which inspired me to show you some of the other toys in my office. The kind of sex toys that look like penguins, people and famous kitty’s – only they vibrate and can be used for other, more pleasurable adventures than just playing with dolls.
Posted in seX matters by jamye on 02/24/2010 - 9:22am
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