It had been years before I realized I had left my specially picked (not the one above) Simply Blown green glass dildo behind. Back in the day, before Simply Blown had as many styles and colors to choose from, I was offered my very own glass didlo. I had never owned my own molten crystal glass dildo (that word molten makes me wet), and the thought that I could own it in green! green! made me very happy. Although I guess not that happy, since years went by, and I forgot all about it. Then, about three weeks ago I thought, “where is that glass dildo that those guys at Simply Blown gave me. I have no idea.” It had been years since I’d seen it, and I have never even used it. Thoughts are powerful and just last week, whilst podcasting at my dear friend Fifi Jingles home, we started to talk about her arsenal of sex toys. She offered to show me her stash, and right there, smack dab in the middle of her stash, she pulled out a Simply Blown green glass dildo. She explained how I left it at her house for fear of breakage (silly fear, it’s a tough toy) and I had forgotten to come and reclaim it.
So reclaim I did. Last night I spent some quality time with the toy, and all I can say is WOW. I’m not normally an insert-something-inside-myself-while-masturbating masturbator, but that’s about to change. Using the glass toy really helped me learn about the build up of my arousal process. And I ejaculated a ton. That was fun. Watch more, and then go get your own glass dildo. Simply Blown makes lots of shapes and sizes (and toys for your bum too).
As I walked through the valley of the shadow of Los Angeles, flip camera in hand, I decided to think my thoughts out loud and record them as this week’s sex review. While being single isn’t a product, there are a lot of services out there to help people not be single anymore (think online dating sites, matchmakers, life coaches, therapists). The truth is, some people prefer being single, and some don’t. So, as a professional sex educator, I decided to post a personal review of how I feel (right now) about being single.
Sure there’s a pro and con list for being single, and being partnered, but I know that I get more done, feel more accomplished, and inspired when I’m part of a team. I once worked with a radio host, we’ll call him Lionel, who said there was no we in Lionel (there isn’t, only an I) and maybe after an aborted partnership that ended later in life, or after children, I understand (more) the single life and why it’s a preference. I once dated a guy who said my biggest drawback was that I “needed” love. Who doesn’t need love? If you think about the best art, work, stories, songs, even those where one person gets all the credit, the truth is, they never did it alone. Nobody does their best work alone, or is inspired to do their best work, alone.
There is research to back up the idea that happily married people live longer and stay healthier. I know the same can’t be said for the unhappily married, but I’d rather be single than be in the wrong, long relationship, but to quote Sebastian the crab from the Little Mermaid, “the seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake.”
A few years back two men, armed with cameras, lighting and sound came to my house to interview me on a subject I know much about, and love even more. If you’ve ever read my blog, or my book, you know what “that” is, and if not, I’m talking about what Jack and Jill do to get off when they’re not up that hill together.
Jacking off. Jilling off. Get it? I’m talking about masturbation.
I love masturbation. It relieves stress, tension, even allergies. It boosts self-esteem, helps us get to know our bodies, and even has anti-aging properties, the kind that may not be proven by science, but that can be seen in the faces of masturbation activists. If you need more proof on this anti-aging thing, have a look at Betty Dodson (she’s over 80).
I’m honored to be part of a documentary that includes Dr. Joycelyn Elders and Janeane Garofalo (and yes, I’ll bend down and pick up those names I’ve dropped, thank you). They’re just two of the army of the sexually educated who continue to bring attention to a topic of personal interest. A topic that you may not still think is taboo, but kind-of, sort-of, it is. If you don’t believe me, just look at the hype that surrounded “Gossip Girl” Taylor Momsen’s admission last year that her vibrator is more important than a boyfriend right now. If you haven’t seen the trailer yet, watch it. The movie still needs funds to get finished, and it deserves to be seen. And if you can, donate to Sticky.
I haven’t been much of an online dater. I’ve never had skype sex. I don’t IM or BBM, or Facebook chat, AIM, i-chat, etc. As I type this, I realize I’m not so adventurous in my search for love. I prefer to do things the “old-fashioned” way, like meeting through friends or at places. Here I am looking to date and and I feel so out-of-date.
I find the topic of love online, and not in person, the way of the now, and of the indeterminate future. As someone who has spent most of her love life, and really all of my life, offline, the idea of being able to meet the “love of your life” or at least one of your loves, without having to physically touch them, is something that only a few short years ago we did not do, because we could not see them, or connect with them, in real time. But now we can, and oh, the options and places to chat! This is the kind of love that’s built on words, pictures, dreams and on a foundation of friendship. This is the kind of love not usually built on sex and immediate intimacy. That makes it the the kind of love that has lastability. Personal experience has taught me that love built on sex isn’t the kind of lasting long-term love that I now seek.
I don’t know Nancy Schwartzman personally, not yet, although I will likely meet her in April at Momentum. What I do know is that she has directed a documentary called Xoxosms, about the true love of Gus and Jiyun, a young couple who met through the help of a Facebook application. The short documentary is in need of some additional funding so that it can be finished, and that we can continue to study, and interact, in that all-too-personal-even-when-we-don’t-know-each-other-personally-sort-of-way.
What makes this documentary so alluring is it isn’t at all about the dangers of online dating. It’s not about the brutality that can happen when you happen to meet the wrong woman, who happens to be a man! who happens to be a cop! serial killer! convicted rapist! online. Yes, that happens, but what happens more often, and just isn’t as newsworthy, are happy things, like meeting friends or falling in love. (If you haven’t realized by now, happy things rarely make top news, even the evening news puts the horrific things first, and the happy stories generally after the weather, sports and small talk.) That’s why I think it would be lovely if we can all make this story happen – through word of mouth, or if you can, through the generous change in your pockets.
If you want to find out more, or help fund the project, check out the kickstarter page now. Because we all have a vision, and here, we can help see one vision, and follow one love through, at least to the end of the film (there are no guarantees after that).
Posted in seX matters, tmi by jamye on 03/8/2011 - 5:49am
Today’s sex product review is Good Clean Love Oil – 1 oz. travel size, to make the TSA happy. This 100% vegan, natural blend of apricot kernel oil, organic Jojoba oil, Vitamin E antioxidant formula and essential oils smells great, tastes good and feels light on the skin, like oil on the body should.
The sample pack comes with three scents; an earthy one (Origins), a chai-tea one (Indian Spice) and rose (Caribbean Rose) and if you’re into scented massage oils then this gift pack is worth sampling. Hear, and see, my review of the paraben free products and listen to me live on LATalkRadio with GCL’s Wendy Strgar today at noon PST:
I love music. To dance to, to hoop to, to listen to, so my only question about the Freestyle rechargeable, wireless vibrator from OhMiBod is why did it take me so long to review this?! This one-of-a-kind vibrator gets you off TO your music, and WITH your music because it plugs into your MP3 player to work with the sounds you want to hear. The peeps (and I love the peeps) behind OhMiBod thought of everything, from traveling with your toy, to how to listen, to the 8 various ways you can enjoy this rechargeable vibe.
The Freestyle brings music to the nexxxt level and who can’t jive with that?!
Live on location from a “secret” windy roof top location in Venice, California, this week’s sex product review is The Screaming O‘s Bang O vibrating cock ring. What makes the Bang O different is the three weighted balls that dangle low for extra bangin’ stimulation. Used during intercourse, the vibrating bullet is designed to stimulate her clitoris, but I prefer vibrating pleasure rings to use during oral sex (think about using it when you’re going down on him or a dildo). Or, use it over a few fingers for vibrating, finger-licking masturbation of her clitoris. Watch the short sex toy review to learn more about the waterproof, battery-operated Bang O!
Man Eaters from Outer Space is the latest fun(ny looking) toy from Big Teaze Toys, and it’s designed to eat your man, or at least his shaft. Three levels of vibration, just poke ‘im in the belly to change the speed, and you’ve got a waterproof, form fitting massage buddy that will make you smile. Check out my latest on location review:
It’s a sex pillow for use during sex (writing, typing or resting too) and it claims to provide oodles of pleasure for men with small penises who want to go a little deeper (and pleasure for their partner’s too!). I find the blog and the rest of the little deeper website a tad bit creepy, and still, it’s this week’s sex product review.
This week’s sex product review screams sensuality! touch! hot wax! black pepper and pomegranate! To find out more, watch the latest Toying with Tuesday, sex toy video review:
All contents Copyright © 2005, Jamye Waxman unless otherwise noted
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